“We’ve got time. I could give you... five minutes of cuddling.”
He laughs and wriggles away, pretending to be strong.
“Don’t tempt me. I’d feel terrible if you missed your flight because of me.”
We’ve never spent this much time apart. Not even close.
And the truth is, he’s not the only one struggling with it.
I do feel guilty, if I’m honest. Not just because I’m leaving him on his own all summer, but because I’ve also asked him to take care of someone he’s never even met, someone who just happens to be my ex-boyfriend.
When I first offered to host Sebastian during his summer internship at the conservatoire, I assumed I’d still be in London. I thought it might be a chance to rebuild our friendship, catch up, maybe even find some kind of closure.
Back then, I had no idea my company would send me to New York. And when offered, I knew I couldn’t turn it down.
This internship is a major step in my career and Remi...
Remi was amazing. He didn’t even hesitate.
He said yes to looking after Seb, knowing full well that he’d be doing it on his own.
To be honest, I didn’t think he would agree, not once he realized who Sebastian was. What he meant to me.
Seb and I haven’t seen each other in years, though we’ve always kept in touch.
The first few months after the break-up were brutal. But even after everything, after the silence, after Paris, after the hurt, he’s still a part of me. I think, in some quiet way, he always will be.
Anne, Sebastian, and I grew up together in Stratford. The three of us were inseparable.
Losing him wasn’t just the end of a relationship; it was the loss of something much deeper. A kind of grief, not just for him, but for the girl I used to be. The girl I could never go back to.
Even now, thinking about him stirs something in me. A sadness that’s hard to name.
I loved Sebastian with the reckless intensity of first love.
Just seeing him walk into a room used to make my heart race.
Touching him, kissing him, just being close, it felt natural, necessary.
When we were apart, I could barely breathe.
He was my first everything, my first best friend, my first love, the first person I slept with, the first person I ever truly let in.
And when he left, he took all of that with him.
The first few days after he moved to Paris were a blur.
I barely ate, drank too much, and cried until there was nothing left.
It felt like the ground had opened up beneath me, and I was buried in the wreckage.
Anne eventually called my parents in a panic. They came straight down from Stratford, desperate to understand what had happened.
At the time, the plan had been for the three of us, Seb, Anne, and me, to share a flat at the start of term. Instead, they found me there alone, devastated.
Anne had to explain everything. That Sebastian had left. That he’d been offered a full scholarship to the Conservatoire in Paris. That he’d ended things with me, suddenly, with no warning, no real explanation.
He told me it was for the best. That hehadto go. That it would hurt less this way. But I couldn’t understand how losing him, my other half, was supposed to help me in any way.
