“This wasn’t a choice you made, Finn. This was a trauma response triggered by exhaustion and sensory overload. Your brain perceived a threat that wasn’t there and activated survival protocols.”
“That doesn’t make it okay.”
“No, it doesn’t. But it makes it medical rather than moral,” she made another note before leaning forward slightly. “This level of intrusive imagery combined with command voice response represents escalation beyond what you’ve reported before. Has anything else been contributing to this buildup? Your endocrinology results? Did you have that conversation with Alex?”
I nodded. “She took it like a champ. Said it didn’t change anything. She’s seen the scars now too,” my entire body flamed as I thought about her hands tracing over them. “Accepted all of it. I don’t know why.”
“What else?”
“I’ve been pushin’ myself too hard,” I rubbed absently at the sore spot on my thigh where my dad had administered my hormone injection. “The physical work feels good, but I think I’ve been using it as an excuse to prove I’m still capable. And I missed my injection on Monday. Felt it by Wednesday.”
“And what else?”
“And then the storm… working in the rain for hours, ignoring pain signals, fatigue warnings. By the time I got back to help with the flooding, I was already running on fumes.”
“And then you saw Alex in what your brain interpreted as danger.”
“She slipped near the water and I just—” I rubbed my forehead where the pressure was intensifying. “Couldn’t separate what was happening from what I was afraid might happen.”
“After Luke removed you, what occurred?”
“He brought me back to the lodge and I crashed. Completely. Alex found me unconscious in our room.”
“How did she find you? Did you drink at all? Did you take any drugs before falling asleep?”
“No ma’am,” I shook my head slightly. “Stripped down to my underwear and just passed out on the bed. She covered me with a blanket and slept in the other bed. She…”
Heat crept up my neck as I thought about the next part.
“She what, Finn?”
“She knows I’ve been getting injections without telling her. Without asking her to help,” my chest grew tight. “My dad brought it up in front of her.”
Elena’s expression grew more serious. “How are you processing that?”
“Shame… that I hid it or that I didn’t ask her, I don’t know,” I swallowed. “We talked today, but I can tell she’s being careful.”
“That’s normal after a traumatic incident. She needs time to process what happened too,” Elena studied my face through the camera. “But I’m concerned about the severity of this episode, Finn. Complete loss of emotional regulation, command voice directed at a civilian, followed by physical collapse. This crosses the threshold for crisis intervention.”
My stomach dropped. “What does that mean?”
“I’m coming to Wyoming. I can’t provide adequate support for this level of escalation through video sessions,” her tone stayedprofessional, but her eyes were warm and sympathetic. “I need to assess your functioning in your environment and provide immediate crisis support.”
“Elena, you don’t have to—”
“Yes, I do. This isn’t just symptom management anymore. You had complete loss of control that affected your relationship and family dynamics. I’ll be there by tomorrow late afternoon. Send the address for the ranch.”
The weight of her words settled in my chest. Crisis intervention. My therapist was showing up in person because I’d broken down so completely, she had to make sure I wasn’t a danger to myself or others.
“What do I tell Alex? My family?”
“The truth. You’re taking your recovery seriously and getting the help you need.” She paused. “I’ll want to meet with Alex, if she’s willing. She was directly affected by this episode and needs to understand what happened and what it could mean for the future.”
“Yes ma’am.”
“For now, focus on getting through today and taking care of yourself until I arrive.” Elena’s voice softened slightly. “This isn’t failure, Finn. This is your brain trying to protect you with outdated protocols. But we need to update those protocols before you hurt yourself or someone else.”
“I know.” I did know, but it didn’t make me feel any better.
