I grumbled as I took another bite, letting the sweet treat stick to my teeth as I reached for another. “You’re right. He sucked ass. But…” he was my boyfriend for a while, somebody who would be there to cuddle with at night, who made sure my water bottle was filled, he had a space in my life, one that I’d made for him. And now he was gone, and I felt that absence like a missing tooth, a space I couldn’t help but poke at over and over.
The tears welled suddenly, one falling free to roll down my cheek.
“Shit,” Tara said, tugging me more firmly against her. “I’m sorry, Eva. It’s gonna be okay.”
I let her, leaning against her body to soak up the comfort of my best friend, letting the tears fall. We did speak for a little while, Tara stroking my hair as I cried into her shoulder, tears and spit dampening her shirt.
It just wasn’t fair. Why did every guy I liked have to be an asshole?
Why couldn’t I just have a normal nose that wanted a normal pack in the stupid scent card book?
Why did I always have to be alone?
When I finally cried myself out, I pulled away to wipe my face on my sleeve, already a little rough from a couple of days of this same cycle. Snack. Movie. Cry a lot. Nap.
Actually, the nap didn’t sound so bad.
“Better?” Tara asked, her eyes round with worry as she leaned to grab a tissue from the nearly buried box on the coffee table, using it to wipe my nose.
“Yeah.. a little.” I said softly, and it wasn’t even a lie.
Maybe I should’ve called her after all.
Sometimes the best medicine really was friendship.
“Good,” she said slowly, and I could almost hear the idea spinning in her head before she spoke again. Those eyes of hers didn’t let her hide much, it was sort of nice not to have to guess what she was thinking. “I have an idea that might make you feel even better, but it will involve a shower.”
I groaned as I pulled back to look at her, already preparing to say fuck no. Washing my hair might actually be the last straw for my feebly clinging mental health. “What?”
She poked me hard in the shoulder with a playful grin. “Don’t act like I’m bullying you,” she said. “Basic hygiene has clearly gone by the wayside in this household, and though I don’t mind a little natural musk, I think a bubble bath would do yousome good. Besides, a revenge fit is always best worn with a fresh blowout anyway. Omega’s Lust is doing a Halloween event tomorrow night, and I think you should come.”
I stiffened. I hadn’t been to the heat hotel in almost a year. Stephen was pretty adamant that I didn’t go. He said it was cheating, even though he was a beta who couldn’t help, so I would spend my heat overloaded with suppressants, lying in bed, wishing for death after he’d inevitably tap out.
I promise, baby, I can handle it.
Yeah, fucking, right! As if!
“I don’t know about that…” I started slowly.
If washing my hair felt like a task, I could only imagine what entertaining a bunch of strange alphas would be like.
“Come on, it’ll be fun! My whole pack is going, so you won’t be alone,” she insisted, waggling her eyebrows playfully. “And you know youloveto watch.”
I snorted, rolling my eyes at her antics.
Maybe I did have a bit of a voyeuristic streak, but I didn’t believe for a second that Tara would spend the night stuck to my side.
“Yeah, with you until you get horny and decide to go off and fuck.”
“Pfft, by then you’ll be tied up by an alpha of your own, easy.”
My face turned red. Though designation didn’t matter to me, being knotted was a fantasy I’d never quite managed to shake. Toys really just weren’t the same as the real thing. Never got tight enough. “I don’t know….”
“You’re young, you’re crazy hot, and you have been doing Bikram so long that you’re flexible as fuck,” Tara said, trying to get me hype.
Not just trying… Succeeding.
Her attitude was infectious; it was hard to be in a bad mood with the omega around. Even if saying yes would mean I’d have to scrub off a week’s worth of depression grime.
