“I do,” he says with a grin, leaning in for another taste.
“Hold that thought,” I say between quick kisses. “I’ll be right back.”
We both know as much as I love him buried inside me, tonight isn’t about sex. It’s about closeness and reassurance.
After a quick brush and a swish of mouthwash, I pad back into the room to find Maksim already asleep. The smile that pulls at my lips is instant. The hard edges of his face are softened, his breaths slow. One arm is tucked beneath his head, the blanket low on his hips…and suddenly, I’m rethinking thatno sexthing.
Control yourself, Val. He’s yours. You can have him anytime.
But tonight…I just want to feel him breathe next to me. I slip in beside him and curl close. Before long, my eyes grow heavy, and I’m nodding off.
Hours later, or maybe just minutes, I can’t be sure, Maksim’s sharp movements stir me awake. I blink away the fog of sleep as his body jerks beneath the sheets, fists clenched, and breath ragged like he’s been running for miles.
When a strangled noise escapes his throat, my heart jumps. He’s dreaming—no, he’s trapped in a nightmare.
I reach for him and gently brush his arm. But he doesn’t feel me. He’s too lost in that dark place in his mind. Another jolt and another muffled cry rip through the silence.
“Maksim,” I whisper, moving closer, palm pressed to his cheek. “It’s just a dream. You’re safe, baby. It’s me.”
His eyes snap open and they’re wild and distant. For a split second, I swear it’s like he doesn’t recognize me.
“Look at me,” I whisper, sweeping damp hair from his brow. “You’re not there anymore. They can’t hurt you.”
It feels like forever before his breathing begins to slow and his fists loosen. And when his gaze finds mine, that haunted look softens just enough to let me know he’s come back to me.
“I’m here,” I murmur, pulling him into my arms and rocking him gently. “I’ll always be right here for you.”
Maksim exhales against my neck, the tension melting out of his body as I trace slow circles over his back.
“I hate that you see me like this,” he rasps, voice raw and broken.
“You never have to hide from me…”
The words I've held back hang between us, and I pause, my breath tangled in my throat.
But then they fall...
“I love you, Maksim. All of you.”
Silence stretches across the dark room. Just the soft tick of the clock, and the sound of my own heartbeat, pounding like it’s trying to break free.
And I wait for him to react, to say something, anything. Not because I expect to hear it back...I don’t. I just need him to know that I see every broken and beautiful piece, and I still choose him. That I'll always choose him.
My throat burns as I search his face in the shadows. And maybe for a small moment, I almost wish I could take it back, even if just to ease the tension now pressing between us. But I don’t regret it.
“I just wanted to let you know that,” I say with a frail smile. “My heart has loved you for a very long time. But it’s different now. Bigger.”
Maksim looks up at me, brows pulled together, something written on his face I can’t name.
“Valentina—”
“Go back to sleep, Maksim,” I whisper, brushing my thumb over his jaw. “And let me hold you until you forget.”
Fifty
VALENTINA
Full auto.
