“Kai, Amalia isn’t going anywhere. Please sit.”
“I can’t leave her out there like that.”
Isabel’s beaming smile was back. “I knew it. You care about her, don’t you? At least, you’re starting to.”
“Call me a glutton for punishment.”
She laughed outright and leaned against the desk. “That’s my girl. Always taught her to be strong and never take shit from a man.” Her frown made another appearance. “But maybe she learned that lesson too well.”
“Is she all right?”
Isabel downed the last of her drink and sat, observing me with a pensive look. “She will be. Take care of my girl, Kai. She plays tough because she needs to, but deep down, Amalia is just as beautiful as she is on the outside. She just doesn’t know it. Show her.”
“I mean no disrespect, but if you know this is temporary, then you also know that we’ll go our own ways three years from now. I’ll be back in Philly. She’s here. At best, we remain friends.”
She scoffed, her lips parting as if she was about to speak, but decided against it and replied, “Of course.”
21
Kai’sslow footfalls drew close, but I didn’t turn around. I didn’t need to. As crazy as it was to admit, I felt his presence and the calm he brought with him every time he was near. The night of the ambush was when I realized he was safe. That I didn’t need to be anyone else but myself with him. That he wouldn’t judge or take advantage of me. Before I could swipe the tears from my eyes, his arms came around my waist, and he pulled me to his chest.
“Thought you could use a little company.”
“I’m out here because I needed to get away.”
His lips brushed my ear.
“Okay, let me rephrase that. I thought you could usemycompany.”
I leaned into his embrace, and he held me in companionable silence, giving me time to speak when I was ready.
“I told my mother everything.”
“What happened?”
“She walked in on me trying on my dress, and she…” I couldn’t reveal that she’d gotten upset at my choice of dress.It was supposed to be a surprise—one to spite him that I’d purchased shortly after he arrived. Now, the enjoyment I would have gotten from the look on his face seemed so trivial and pointless.
“She what?” he pressed, concern lacing his tone.
I whipped around and swiped harshly at my eyes, aggravated that I couldn’t hold back my tears.
“My mother has all these expectations, Kai. A honeymoon, and babies, a memorable first dance, and afuckinghappily ever after. All of it. But we both know that I can’t give her what she wants. That you and I…that none of it is real. And I’d never seen her so happy, especially after Tony’s death. I just couldn’t lie to her anymore.”
“Amalia, you knew what this was from the beginning. What changed?”
I shoved out of his arms and trudged through the courtyard. My heels against the cobblestone and the shots I’d taken beforehand made the trek much more difficult than I remembered.
“Hey,” he called softly, catching my wrist. “Now that she knows, none of that should matter. So what’s really wrong?”
Closing my eyes, I let out a breath. “I don’t know. I’m a mess. And it’s not like me to feel…nervous. But I am. Can we pull this off? Can I actually go through with it?”
“I’ll be at the end of that aisle, no matter what. I gave my word.”
“Ugh, that’s just it. I feel like I’m selling myself off to you and them—it goes against everything my girls and I stand for.” I bowed my head, feeling foolish. What did I expect? For him to love me? Was that what I wanted?
“Vicious, there are things in life that are inevitable. We know that more than anyone. It is a means to an end, even though it takes a piece of us every time.”
Kai’s arms were around me, his lips against my forehead. “What happens when there’s nothing left?” I whispered, clutching his shirt. He didn’t answer and simply held me closer. But maybe that was precisely what I needed.
