Kai met my grin. “It’s not that simple. Don’t take it personally, Cain. I just loathe that my hand is being forced. I’ve always made the rules for myself. I don’t abide by the laws of men who think that because I have a pussy, I can’t make decisions and be successful without relying on cock.”
I pushed at his chest, and he set me down. “I’ve done just fine on my own. And I hoped to keep it that way until it was on my terms, not on those of bastards who aren’t even alive.” Kai was serious now as he listened unwaveringly. “I never wanted this responsibility on my shoulders. This was my brother Tony’s burden to bear. Not mine. So excuse me if I’m just a little pissed off.”
Kai tipped my chin with his fingers. “Can I ask you something?” I nodded. “Why me?”
I sighed and offered him a faint smile. “As you know, it was supposed to be Derek. But his circumstances changed and, well, you were the obvious second choice.”
“Ah, the default.”
He tried to play it off as a joke, but I saw the twitch in his jaw and the slight flare of his nose. I knew he loved his brother, but I wondered if he somehow felt overshadowed by Derek. He didn’t have a reason to be. Kai was a force in his own right. If it wasn’t for the circumstances surrounding our engagement, he was everything I coveted in a partner. Someone who could stand beside me, who loved all the dark parts that held my soul together. A man who knew I was just as capable. Who listened and was patient with all my highs and lows. He was all those things.
Touching his cheek, I smiled and said, “No, the upgrade.”
He stared at me for what felt like forever, and I held his gaze and waited with anticipation for him to say whatever I knew was on the tip of his tongue.
“Fuck,” he whispered, shaking his head.
“What?”
“Marry me,” he said with a laugh, resting his forehead on mine.
“Give me a few days, and maybe I’ll be forced to say yes.”
“Done.” With that said, he scooped me up again and tossed me back onto the massage table. “Do me a favor, tell Daniel he’s fired.”
“Cain, absolutely not. Daniel has magic hands.”
“You liked what I did with mine.”
I reached between us and grabbed his cock. “Do it again.” Kai’s lips were on my neck, my legs circling his waist when I felt him slow until his mouth hovered over my earlobe. “You see a ghost or something, Cain? Because I can’t imagine anything grabbing your attention more than my wet pussy against you.”
“Just wondering when I’ll get to see what’s under that sheet?”
“Someday. When I’m ready.”
He looked down at me and nodded in understanding. A part of me hated that he didn’t press, that he respected my privacy, because it did strange things to my stomach and put terrifying thoughts in my head. But then there was that woman I didn’t recognize—or maybe I’d just lost her years ago—who craved love and sweet gestures from a man. That woman who was swooning and falling…
20
“Tomorrowis the day.”
I gripped the stone balcony, tightening my hands around the cool surface as I tipped my head toward a starless night sky.
Tomorrow was indeed the day Amalia and I would solidify our contract, and I wasn’t sure how to feel about being bound to this woman who’d forced herself into my life. Nothing could have prepared me for the flurry of emotions: doubt, apprehension, anxiety—I was fucking terrified. Three years was a long time to coexist with someone by means of coercion.
But underneath it all, I knew those thoughts were just a survival mechanism—a way of protecting myself from what I knew was slowly unfolding between us—or worse, just me. We’d crossed a line, and there was no crawling back.
Derek’s hand was on my shoulder, the other holding a cigar. He tilted his chin, huffing smoke into the darkness.
“I’m going to be with you every step of the way, Kai. I almost feel responsible for getting you into this mess, especially with a woman like Amalia.”
“What does that mean?” The harshness in my tone had him whipping toward me, and his forehead creased in confusion.
“What doesthatmean?” he asked, taking another puff, though his eyes didn’t stray away from mine. “I’ve noticed small things between the two of you, but I didn’t know that you—”
“That I what?”
Derek nodded, gaze focused on the vast courtyard below. “I want you to be happy, brother. Whatever that looks like is up to you, and I’ll respect it. If this woman—if she makes you feel things, don’t deny yourself just because of how this started.” He chuckled lightly, gazing at the cigar between his fingers, as if recalling a memory. “If anyone knows what that’s like, it’s me.”
