“Think there’s a toothbrush in there?” she asked, pushing to her feet. I followed, locking hair behind her ear.
“I hope so.”
Leni swatted my chest and started for the door to a side entrance. As I fell into stride with her steps, I pulled her close, arm around her waist, and held her until we reached our room.
Since the shift in our relationship, Leni and I regularly shared a shower. Of course, the ultimate purpose was always sex, but at the moment, neither one of those felt appropriate. I knew she needed time for herself. Time to come to grips with the heart-wrenching blow fate had thrown her way yet again.
* * *
By the time I’d finished in the bathroom, Leni was leaning against the window frame, arms crossed, and her head resting on the wall. Maybe it was her stance or the way my shirt hung off her body that made her look so frail. It created this need in me to scoop her up and keep her safe from the world outside that window and the one in her head.
She glanced up as I approached, eyes falling briefly on my bare chest before turning to look out into the night.
I wrapped her in my arms and rested my chin on her head.
“I don’t want to do this anymore,” she whispered. Her words made the blood in my veins pump a little faster, but I said nothing and let her continue. “I don’t want to be like you.”
Helena turned and looked up at me, smoothing the crease between my drawn brows with her thumb. “I don’t want to run. I don’t want to live my life feeling paranoid, looking over my shoulder because there’s someone out there trying to get me. I can’t do that.”
“Then come with me, Leni. Let’s take Santino up on his offer.”
She shook her head. “That’s still running away, Silas. And I owe my father more than that for what he went through in my name. There’s nothing left here for me. Everything I cherished is destroyed.”
“More reason to get the hell away from here.”
Leni pushed out of my arms. “You’re not listening. I’m not running. Even if it costs my life, I’d rather die trying. I’m going to London. Going to confront Cillian, and if I’m lucky, I’ll leave with his head.”
“You’re talking reckless.” I framed her face. “Helena, if you think I’m going to let you—”
“No, you’re absolutely right. You’re not going to let me do anything because I don’t answer to you. And I’m not asking you to come with me.” She held my wrists and yanked my hands from her face. “You were on the run for a goddamn month before I arrived, and now you don’t want to face the threat head-on. Where is your ball sack?”
Leni was purposely trying to hurt me, but if she thought that tactic would work, she was dead wrong.
“You know exactly where. They were in your mouth just a couple of hours ago.”
“Ugh, fuck off, Si!”
She stomped toward the bed, pulled the covers over her head, and faced away from me. I could have said more. The argument was on the tip of my tongue, but I knew she was fragile. Today’s fire had taken such a toll on her, and yet again, she was bottling up her emotions. The fallout was inevitable. I didn’t know when, where, or what the trigger would be, but I was sure it was coming. And no matter how upset she was with me, how much she’d try to push me away, I’d be there to pick up the pieces and put her back together.
When I stretched in the bed next to her, she poked her head out from beneath the blanket, rose to her elbows, and drifted to me, kissing me before retreating and slowly closing her eyes. We’d been sleeping together for the past several weeks, and if I were being honest, I could no longer imagine not having her by my side.
Helena and I had a complicated companionship—almost more so than the circumstances of how we met. That was black and white. Cut and dry. This thing that existed between us now was confusing, exhilarating…hopeful. She was someone I cared about. And I knew my feelings were reciprocated, even if she played the edge of this being just sex. We both knew it wasn’t.
It wasn’t long before her soft breaths filled the silence. She looked so peaceful, so beautiful, that it was hard to believe this was the same woman who’d climbed into another man’s lap and stabbed him until he was nearly decapitated. Such a thing would be a significant red flag for anyone else, but for me, her skills and confidence filled me with a strange sense of pride.
That was my girl.
And maybe she wasn’t mine in the way I quickly realized I wanted her to be, but she was in my bed, by my side, all the same. Yet I needed more. I didn’t want just her body. I wanted her heart. Her mind.
I wanted all of her.
Leaning over, I brushed my lips on her cheek, and she twitched, a gentle moan fluttering from her lips. I felt myself smile as she shifted from her side onto her back, her hand unknowingly dragging the sheet and exposing her top half. Although fully clothed, the outline of her nipple ring immediately made my cock twitch, and I brushed my thumb over the piece of jewelry, the peak hardening beneath my touch.
“You promised me dessert, love,” I whispered, kissing her taught nipple one more time.
My dick was aching to be inside Leni and making it impossible to get to sleep. I’d never deprived myself in the past. Never had to, and I didn’t see a reason to start now.
I pulled back the covers, maneuvered myself by her side, and lifted the hem of her t-shirt.
