“My God, Derek. You don’t get it. Even if I did believe what we had was genuine, what would it matter?”
He reached me in two long strides, hands at the side of my neck. My eyes closed instinctively as I let myself lean into his touch.
“It’s all that matters,” he murmured close to my lips.
I put a hand on his chest and shoved him back. “No.” My bottom lip wobbled as I breathed out the words, trying to hold myself together. “We were doomed from the start. I put people like you away for a living. And you’re not even anything like those people, Derek—you’re worse. You go against everything I stand for. I was just stupid for not being able to see it sooner. For refusing to see what’s been in front of my eyes this whole time.”
“Eva, don’t do this. Please. I’ve never given a damn about anyone. You came along, and you changed something inside me.”
His anguish pricked at my skin, fighting to penetrate my shield. But I took in a lungful of air and braced myself for the next question.
“Have you killed anyone while we’ve been together? And please don’t lie to me.”
He averted his eyes; it was all I needed to know.
“You are the same monster you were before I met you. And that’s all you’ll ever be. It doesn’t matter that I love you,” I said through tears and sniffles.
“Baby, we’re so good together. You and I.”
I shook my head as another sob tore through me. “You can’t say it, can you? Even now.”
He cupped my face again. “It’s not that I don’t—”
“You don’t know how to love.”
Derek rested his forehead on my mine. “Angel, I’ll spend the rest of my life showing you what I feel for you is real. Just give me a chance.”
My shoulders trembled, and I squeezed my lips together to keep the sobs at bay. “Get out.”
“Eva?”
Three, two, one…
“I already told you. Nothing else matters because I’llneverforgive everything you’ve done.”
CHAPTERFORTY-THREE
EVANGELINA
“Eva, come on. I’ve been waiting two hours. You’re dressed, and you look half alive. Let’s go.”
Lex dragged me across the driveway by my wrist. I’d fought her the last two days, but today, having no fight left, I’d let her win and even pick out my outfit. She swung open the car door and shoved me inside, slamming it closed before running around the hood of the car and climbing inside as fast as she could.
“You think I’m going to run off or something?”
“In case you change your mind.” She shrugged as she pulled into the street. “Now, the only way you’ll get out of our outing is if you’re willing to risk road rash on that pretty face.”
I’d felt numb these days. The prospect of pain, of feeling something other than this void in my heart, seemed almost enticing.
“Where are we going?”
“First lunch. I know you know better than to not take care of yourself, especially over some asshole who doesn’t deserve you. You don’t get the luxury of wallowing in depression while starving or binging like the rest of us.”
Leaning my head on the glass, I scoffed. “You have no idea how hard it’s been having to force myself to eat without an appetite.”
“Oh, babes, I’m so sorry. I wish I could kick him in the dick for you, and you know I would too.”
I offered her a slow smile. “I do. Thank you for this.”
