A low grunt comes from inside the wall.
I shriek so loud I scare myself.The roll holder shifts, and the drywall panel in front of me bumps outward just a hair.
Oh my God.
Oh my actual God.
I rip my hand back and stare at it like it betrayed me.Then I stare at the wall.
The wall stares back.Or, well… something inside it does.
There is a hole.
A purposeful hole.
A hole for a purpose I can now very unfortunately confirm.
“No.No.No.”I yank my pants up so fast I almost fall over.“Absolutely not, this is cursed.”
I stumble out of the bathroom, hands held in front of me like they’re radioactive.
Legend turns at the sound of my panicked footfalls.His brows lift.“Princess?”
I point at the bathroom.“There’s a penis in there.”
The whole clubhouse goes silent for half a second.
Then Whiskey spits his drink.
Legend’s jaw drops.“What?”
“A penis.In the wall.Where the toilet paper should be.I grabbed it.With my bare hand.”My voice cracks.“With.My.Bare.Hand.”
Whiskey is already swaying over, drunk as sin and waving both hands.“Sophie, sweetheart, I’m so sorry.So very sorry.Never go in the last stall.That’s the old glory hole.We ain’t used that thing since, shit, I don’t even know.Oaks’ bachelor party?Maybe?”
“Oaks?”I gag.“I need bleach.I need a fire.I need to burn my hand off.”
Legend’s face is stuck between horrified and trying not to laugh.“Did you, did it, did someone…”
“Yes, Legend.Someone.”I slap his chest with my offended, contaminated hand.“Your clubhouse just assaulted me.”
Whiskey gasps.“It wasn’t the club!It was probably just, well, alright, okay, maybe it was the club at some point, but…”
I glare at him.“Whiskey.”
He lifts his palms, swaying.“I’m apologizing, ma’am.Truly.Deeply.From the bottom of my liquor-soaked soul.”
Legend grabs my wrist gently, inspecting my hand like it’s broken.“You okay?”
“I’m about to pee on myself, that’s what I am.”I yank away.“But I can’t use the bathroom because there is a dick in the wall.So now I have to wash my hands, except the sink is three feet from the dick-wall, and I don’t trust anything in there!”
Whiskey laughs.Then claps a hand over his mouth.“Sorry.I’m sorry.I’m so sorry.Some brother must’ve been waiting for a bunny.”
Legend swings toward him, growling, “If you don’t shut up…”
Whiskey backs up with his hands up.“I’m tryin’, Prez, but damn, this is the funniest shit ever.Sophie got introduced to the Lockup proper for once.I’m glad it wasn’t my dick.”
Legend scoops me up like I weigh nothing.“Come on.We’re washing your hands in my room.”
