“Forever twenty— just about. Or almost 50. You pick.”
“I don’t wanna pick. Those are... those not good options.”
“Yeah. I know, believe me. One of my dad’s ‘suggestions’ by which he really meant ‘rules’ was “Don’t date.” Don’t get involved. Don’t find a job or travel outside of this little town. Don’t make new friends or get attached to anyone. Don’t even get close to people, see them a second time or a third time.” Jesse swallowed. “It makes sense. People ask why you can’t go out on sunny days, why you’re pale. They might notice you don’t breathe in and out unless you feel like it, that you don’t have a pulse or a reflection.”
Sophie looked at him with wide eyes. His father’s rules had been her own, but she had no other reason than fear and anxiety. Jesse might really find himself in deep trouble. “What are you doing here?”
“Oh... Being selfish. My mom is getting older. She’s a little confused sometimes,” another sad smile, “especially since I haven’t aged in a few decades. She wanted me to get out and live my life. Go to college. Try living on my own. After all,” he coughed, clearing a catch in his voice, “as she likes to point out, she won’t be around forever and then I’ll be alone.”
“God, Jesse.” Sophie looked at him with stricken eyes.
“This is not a pity party!” he spat, pacing in a tight line in front of her. His hands swung as he declared, “I know I could lead a pretty comfy life if I wanted to! You know, some vamps probably do the big city thing, live the night life, sleep with a different girl—or guy—whenever they want, make new friends every couple of weeks, and then vanish. I’m different. I’m pathetic. Okay, thismightbe a pity party.” He collapsed suddenly, landing on the broken couch. Sophie yelped and slid next to him as the battered piece of furniture gave up the ghost.“Sorry. Okay. I told you the long version. I could have said, “I got bitten and I’m trying to live the most normal life I can for a sunlight-challenged fangy freak.”
She found herself leaning weakly against him, exhausted. “I think the long version was better.”
Jesse craned his neck, looking down at the dark silky hair on his shoulder. “Yeah?”
“Kinda.”
“Um. You’re still here.”
Her head lolled back, regarding him with weary eyes. “I noticed.”
He shifted, unsure of what to do. “I’m sorry. But you can see why I don’t go around announcing it.”
“I can totally see that. I’m not even sure if this is real. Maybe I wrecked on the way home from Thanksgiving break and this is all a really weird coma-dream.”
He pinched her arm sharply, making her yelp. “Nope. You’re here. So am I.”
“Again, I noticed.” She closed her eyes, shutting the world out. A jumble of fact, fiction, and their messed-up offspring were warring in her head. Maybe if she slept on it, she’d wake up and it would all magically make sense.
Jesse, on the other hand, seemed to have been enlivened. “You’re not running. Or screaming. Or scared?”
“I’m plenty scared. I think I’m going nuts, but I’m not scared of you. Which might also be proof of going nuts,” Sophie yawned.
“This is why I told you I didn’t want to get into anything heavy, you see? Not because I don’t like you. But you’d never want to be with someone like me. I mean... would you?”
Sophie bit her lip.
Someone like him.
Needs a liquid diet.
Like someone on a feeding tube?
Has no reflection.
At least he’s not vain.
He’s not alive.
But he’s trying to live his best life.
“This is hard.”
“I know. I shouldn’t have asked that. You need more time to think. Or— if you know, you can tell me. And I’m okay if we’re just friends. I love having you in my life. I hated hurting you more than anything I’ve ever done,” he rushed to explain. “I wanted to be with you so much that I was selfish, I guess. I tried to think about what would makeyouhappy.” His eyes melted into hers. “Then you made me feel things I’ve never felt and I forgot to stop myself.”
Sophie felt sleepiness fading away as he gave her a hopeless smile. “Neverfelt?”
