He blinks, breathing heavily seeming to come out of a daze. “You feel this too, right?”
She shakes her head, adjusting her jacket when it slips down. “Nothing can happen. Nothingelsecan happen.”
“Jahlani.”
“Wecan’t,” she says, her voice strained.
“Why?”
“Because … I’m your GTA.”
“And?”
“And?Andsomeone could find out.”
“How would anyone?”
“When you look at me,” she snaps, finally meeting his eyes.
He wipes a hand down the corner of his mouth. “When I look at you?”
“Yes,” she hisses. “When you look at me it’s different. It’s not—I don’t know how to explain it.” A humorless laugh escapes her. “You look at me like?—”
“Like I think about you. Like I want you,” he supplies, sounding defeated.
Her stomach twists and she blinks. “Yes.”
He drops his hands to his sides. “Like I can’t think properly when you’re around, and even when you’re not, I’m pretty miserable on the days that I can’t see you. The slightest shade of green makes me think of you and all I want to do when I see you is touch you. Hold you. Fuck you.”
She blinks rapidly. “That’s not … you can’t say that.”
His eyebrows raise. “What? Say that I want to fuck you? Well, I do. I can’t help that. I can’t help the way I look at you. I can’t help thinking about you. About wanting to be around you.”
A scoff slips out, and she’s suddenly angry at his carelessness. “Roman, you’re talking about risking your diploma. For what—a quick fuck?”
He steps forward, and his eyes narrow. “Is that what you think this is?”
“I don’t know what this is,” she snaps, pressing a hand to her forehead.
“Is that what you want?” he asks, quietly. She exhales, meeting his gaze.
No, what she wants is to be free of this constant need to see him.
“I don’t know what I want,” she says, her voice small. “But I do know that this won’t end well.”
“You don’t know that.”
She shuts her eyes, lowering her head. “Roman, I’m attracted to you. I am, but I need you to think about the bigger picture, because I am. I can’t afford to change my plan anymore. I need this to go well so I can fix my life, and you need your degree to take care of Lucy.”
They lapse into silence, the sounds of students transitioning to other lectures filtering through. She opens her eyes, stepping back.
“Shit,” he says, dragging a hand through his hair, taking several steps back. His eyes meet hers. Firm. Intense. Lingering.
And she finds herself leaning forward as he walks up to her, wrapping his hand over her jaw as he presses another firm kiss to her lips.
“Damn it. Damn you,” he says in between the collision of their mouths. “Fucking hell.”
“I’m sorry,” she says, when he allows her to catch her breath. “I’m sorry,” she repeats once he unwinds himself from her, stepping back.
