“I’m a failure, Jahlani. I can’t take care of my kid. She’s always sick and I can’t do shit. I’m always just there. Watching. I failed school. I already know that my mom is disappointed in me. She actually admitted it the other night … So, yeah. There’s nothing about me that’s worth celebrating.”
She hums, glazing the final bun before dropping the spoon into the sink.
“Well, it was dark. And a bunch of bullshit,” she says, turning to face him.
His head rears back. “What?”
“Most of those things you just described are completely beyond your control. Did you make your daughter sick? Can you force your mom to be proud? Can you go back in time and make sure you pass your classes?” she asks, leaning forward slightly.
He shakes his head.
“Right, so. Maybe focus on the things that you can control, and you’ll find all the things that make you worth celebrating.”
“Like?”
She narrows her eyes. “Oh please, you’re not slick. I’m not gonna say a whole bunch of nice things about you. Your ego is big enough.”
He lets out an exaggerated exhale. “Can’t blame a guy for trying.”
She bumps his shoulder, looking away. “Like, I’m not going to tell you that you’re … annoyingly determined, and have … incredible patience, or that your daughter is lucky to have a dad like you in their life, because that would just be …” She licks her lips, looking up at him.
He angles his head down, closer to her. “That would be?”
She blinks at him, and he doesn’t miss the way her eyes fall to his mouth, before stepping back.
Rubbing her hands together, she steps toward the tray. “Think it’s cooled down enough,” she says, looking up at him.Ripping off a piece, she chews, letting out a small moan of approval.
Fucking hell.
“It’s good. Try it,” she says through another bite.
She holds out the other piece between them. Stepping closer, he tilts his head down, grabbing her wrist that holds the piece. Her lips part when his mouth meets her fingers, and he feels her hand grow limp as he deliberately licks the icing from her fingers.
“You’re right,” he says. “It’s delicious.”
She shakes her head with wide eyes. “Roman, what?—”
He pulls her forward until she’s flush against him, her wrist still caged in his hand, her other hand warm on his abdomen.
“What are you doing here, Jahlani?” He asks, whispering.
“You invited me,” she says through heavy breaths. “Should I go?”
He presses her closer, wrapping his free arm around her waist. “No, that’s not why,” he whispers. “That’s not why.”
She shifts against him, and he shuts his eyes as the sensation causes the pressure against his shorts to increase.
She’s barely touched you, get a fucking grip.
“I came because I needed to get out of my house. You know, neglectful parent and all,” she says through a strained chuckle.
He lowers his face, turning them so that she’s pressed against the kitchen island. “No, that’s not why, Jahlani.”
Letting her wrist go, he wraps his hand around her waist as he curves her into his body. His heart knocks against his chest as he drops his nose into the curve of her neck, followed by his mouth.
“Roman,” she says, but it comes out all raspy and weak andnot likethe Jahlani he knows.
Oh fuck.
