No. Not okay.
“Dad—”
“Jahlani, I have to go. It’s Helen. We’ll talk soon, yeah?”
He ends the call, the dial tone seemingly mocking her as she drops the phone into her lap.
“Jackass,” she says under her breath, rubbing her forehead. Tossing it into her bag, she slumps back against the chair.
A door opening at the end of the hallway causes her to stand up. She runs her hands down her shirt, smoothing out her blouse as a woman in heels walks toward her. Her hair is in a neat updo, and her eyes are a crescent blue that are hard to miss. She extends her hand to Jahlani, giving her a polished smile.
“Ms. Jones. I’m Dr. Evangeline Hunt,” she says, taking her hand with a firm grip. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. Please, follow me.”
Jahlani slips her bag onto her shoulder, falling into step with her as they pass several offices and meeting rooms. She takes in the woman’s floral scent, confident gait, and tailored pantsuit. When they get to the end of the hallway, they make two rights before finally reaching her office.
Dr. Hunt gestures for her to sit, and Jahlani clears her throat, sinking into the chair across from the desk. Her hands get clammy, the reality of not knowing why she is here to begin with making her stomach twist.
“You have a lovely … office,” Jahlani says, unable to come up with anything of substance. She’s never been adept at smalltalk. She watches as Dr. Hunt moves around the large space with gentle but hurried movements.
“Can I get you something to drink? Tea? Coffee? Water?” Dr. Hunt asks.
Jahlani nods. “Water is fine, thank you.”
She shifts in the chair as she watches Dr. Hunt pour them both glasses. She gives her a comforting smile when she presses it into Jahlani’s fingertips. She’s thankful for something to hold on to as she raises the glass to her mouth with shaky hands.
After sipping, Jahlani sets it onto the tiny coffee table next to her chair. Interlacing her fingers, she waits as Dr. Hunt settles across from her.
“I have to ask: why the transfer? You were close to completing your program in New York, right?”
Jahlani’s palms grow clammy as unwanted memories of Micah flood through her mind like a broken dam. It had only been a few weeks, but Jahlani had already compartmentalized everything that had happened to her. What was the point in dwelling over things she couldn’t change?
She crosses her legs, giving a tight-lipped smile to Dr. Hunt. She didn’t feel like spilling her guts if she didn’t need to. She’d give the abbreviated version instead.
Jahlani inhales through her nose, spinning the ring on her finger. “The university dropped the last course I needed to graduate.”
Dr. Hunt nods, pressing some keys on her laptop.
Jahlani looks down at the ground as she says the next words, not fully believing them as they fall past her lips. “And I have family here.” She shrugs, toying with the gold bracelet around her wrist. “I wanted to come back home,” she says with as much enthusiasm as she can muster.
Dr. Hunt seems to buy it as she taps a finger to her lips. She unbuttons her jacket before shrugging it down her shoulders.
“Well, I’m thrilled to have you here. I know the program is in desperate need of more enrollment. Especially a woman of your aptitude,” she says, sending a smile her way as she wrangles her hair out of its bun, dark waves trickling over her shoulders. She leans forward on her desk.
“So, Ms. Jones?—”
“Please, just Jahlani is fine.”
Dr. Hunt’s lips turn upward. “Jahlani, I called this meeting because I have a proposition for you. Unfortunately, because you turned in your transfer paperwork so late, there aren’t any more internships available that are similar to the work you were doing in New York.”
And so it begins.
Really, it shouldn’t matter what type of internship it is as long as she gets the credit to graduate. Except for her, it does.
For her, it means she has to work twice as hard now to prove that she’s deserving of her job with whatever company she applies to when she graduates.
Because some will look at her gender and think that she isn’t the right fit.
And others will look at her Blackness and say that she isn’t capable.
