He closes the door with his foot before pulling her back to his chest. She folds her body into his as he unties her hair. He kisses her like they have all the time in the world, and they do,she supposes, her belly warming.
She pushes his shoulders back to look him in the eyes again. “Really, we should talk,” she says, sliding from his hold to pace in front of him.
He blinks, leaning back against the door, watching her.
“God, why is this so hard?” she says, rubbing her forehead and shaking her hands out. Roman’s eyebrows raise when she paces two feet before turning around again. “Shit, the oven.” She rushes to the kitchen, turns it off, and finds him standing there.
He’s here.
In California.
“Hi,” he whispers, his eyes shining. He wraps an arm around her waist.
“Hi,” she says, pushing her palms against his chest until they slide into his hair. He reaches down then, pressing his mouth to hers, and she loses her footing as his kiss becomes fast and searching.
Consuming.
She pulls back again, and he groans.
“Wait. Wait. I do have something to say.”
“Tell me later,” he says against her lips. “I need this now.”
And she lets him press into her for a few minutes, his hands gliding over her cheeks to deepen the kiss, her leg raising to wrap around his waist, their breaths becoming one, but she pulls back again, forcing his eyes to her.
“Roman, I do–love you,” she says, meeting his gaze. “But I won’t be able to say it as much as you do … and express how I’m feeling as much as you do, but I do. And I know that’s pretty shitty considering everything that’s transpired, but if you’re willing to … to work with me and give me a little more time … I can get better. I want to be better at this for you because I sit in this apartment, and it feels like, like nothing. And my job is great, and I make more money than I could possibly spend now, but it’s just … just a job, you know?” she says, exhaling slowly.
“And I know that this is what I asked for, this is what I said I wanted, what I thought I wanted or, I don’t know. The point is, it all feels so … meaningless. And Iknowthat’s shitty of me,believe me, I know. I wish I could take it back, and I’ve been beating myself up about this for weeks, about leaving you, but I thought it was a done deal, but you’re here now, so I guess what I’m trying to say is, what I’m trying toaskis that you be patient with me, because I really do want this, okay?”
“Okay,” he says. “Anything you want. But, Jahlani—this is it.” He grabs her wrist. “If we’re doing this, it’s on my terms. No running away. Okay?”
She nods. “Okay.”
His lips turn upward, before his eyes drop to her mouth. “Enough talking,” he says, lifting her up. “It’s your birthday.”
“You remembered?” She breathes against his lips as he walks them into her room.
“Who do you think bought you all those gifts?” he says, depositing her on the bed, pressing a soft kiss to her mouth. “You know what else I remember?” he says, pulling off his shirt, then working his belt.
She leans on her elbows. “What?” She breathes.
Lowering himself to her, he grabs her thighs, pulling her toward the edge.
“I’d rather show you.”
Low California light seeps past the curtains. The alarm sounds and she startles—briefly afraid she imagined last night with Roman, but she’s pleasantly surprised to feel a warm, dormant Roman against her back. His arm drapes across her stomach and it feels sogood.
She feels good, and warm, andokay.
Her arm snaps out to turn it off, but he’s already moving.
“Sorry,” she whispers, dropping back to the bed against his chest.
“S’okay. You have work?” he says, his voice low and sleep-filled.
She sighs, pressing further against him. “I usually go to the gym, but I don’t want to.”
He drags her closer, his fingers splaying against her abdomen as he presses a soft kiss to the back of her head.
