“Okay. Why?”
Jahlani rolls her shoulders back. “I’m highly qualified, and I was raised there. I know the people. I know the area. I have … people waiting for me. Family. Friends.”
Monique nods her head. “I hear you, and I’ll consider it, but you’re too new for me to send out right now.”
Jahlani swallows back the burn in her throat. “I understand.”
Monique’s eyes soften. “Let’s see how the Mayfair project goes. It might speed things along.”
Jahlani gives her a small smile, her heart swelling as she hears the soft sound of Monique's heels disappear down the hallway. Reaching into her bag, she slides out her phone as it vibrates, hope spiking in her chest because maybe–
“Hello?” She breathes, hopeful and flustered, pacing in the office.
A throat clears on the line. “Hey, baby. Are you free to talk?”
Jahlani pulls the phone from her ear, seeing her dad’s contact, tears stinging her eyes.
She thought it would behim.But then again, why would he call?
“Sure,” she says, her voice wavering as she works to fight through her disappointment. Settling into a chair, she drops the phone on the table, pressing the speaker button. She places her head in between her hands as she waits for him to speak.
He clears his throat again. “You sure? If you’re busy, I can hang up.”
“I’m not busy,” she murmurs, sitting upright. “I’m just at work. I’m always ... at work.”
He sighs, and she hears him shuffling on the other end. “Okay … well, your mother called me a few weeks ago. She was pretty hysterical.”
Jahlani sits upright, her skin tingling. “Oh. What did she tell you?”
“Everything.”
Jahlani drops her head into her palm, sighing. “Dad?—”
“I’m so sorry, baby.”
Jahlani’s hand falls to the table and she presses into it trying to ground herself.
“What?” She croaks out.
He sighs deeply. “Your mom … she’s been through a lot, and I’m not making excuses for her, but she’s a complicated woman because of it. I should’ve done better. I just … I made a choice to leave her, and I didn’t think about how that would affect you. I thought about what you said to me that day, and you were right baby and … are you still there, Jahlani?”
“I’m here, Dad,” she says, whispering.
He clears his throat. “I know you’re an adult now, so maybe you’ll understand a little when I tell you why I left … or maybeyou won’t but … it got hard for me. She didn’t support me in the way I needed her to and Celeste—your grandmother— she never liked me, and your mom just always went with what she said. It was like she wasn’t her own person at certain times. So, it was difficult and I … I didn’t tell you because … I gave up on her and I left you, and … I’m sorry.”
Jahlani lets out a shaky exhale, wiping her face feelingso fucking sick of crying.
“Yeah.”
He exhales again. “Okay, baby. Well, I don’t want to keep you. But I wanted to let you know that I’m going to talk to your mother … try to get her on board with, you know … the therapy. I know you're in California, but I’ve seen that they do virtual sessions. Just … let me know if you need anything … anything at all.”
Jahlani knows the thing she wants most, he can’t give her, but she still nods letting out a strangled‘okay’.
“Bye baby. I love you.”
She hangs up, still not fully believing him, and not feeling ready to say it back, but knowing for the first time, she was taking a step in the right direction.
CHAPTER 38
