Roman’s gaze softens, and he drops one final kiss to her lips.
But he’s seen that look before. It’s the same one Kareena wore before she left.
CHAPTER 34
LIMITS
JAHLANI
It’s close to sunset in Los Angeles and Jahlani squints to see her best friend against the dusty skyline. The airport is overrun with people, and she cranes her neck to see Imani, her phone pressed to her ear. Ducking and weaving in between people, she makes it to the end of the curb where she finally catches sight of her red highlights and glinting piercings. As she steps toward her and Imani catches her eye, it’s like she’s been struck. Everything she’s bottled for months surges up, and she stumbles into Imani’s outstretched arms.
Imani holds her close, resting her head on top as Jahlani’s shoulders shake.
“Come on, Lani Banani. Let’s get you fed.”
The refrigerator’s low hum fills the one-bedroom as Jahlani tries to string a coherent thought together. The sun begins to sink across the wood flooring, casting a soft tangerine sheen. Outside, the streets are quiet as people turn in. Laughter flares in the hallway, then a door snaps shut.
“Imani, I feel … funny.”
“Yeah, three edibles will do that, babe.”
They had spent the past three hours catching up about nothing and everything. Jahlani’s head rests in her lap as they sit on the couch. Imani passes her fingers through her braids, combing out the knots that have formed over the past week.
“How do you feel about the interview tomorrow? You think you’ll get it?”
Jahlani blows out a breath. “I think so. We had a virtual meeting already, so I think my prospects are high. Plus, it’s woman-owned.” Imani hums, her fingers continuing to glide through her hair.
“Imani, you’d make such a good mom,” Jahlani says softly after a few minutes of silence. Imani’s fingers stop their motion in her hair, but she grabs her fingers, forcing her to continue. She does so dutifully. “You’re the fiercest person I know,” Jahlani murmurs. “You don’t take shit from anyone. You’re strong and poised. You take such good care of me.” Jahlani twists in her arms to look at her. “Hey, remember that time in eleventh grade when Robert Lind said?—”
“Said you were pretty for a Black girl,” she finishes in a deadpan tone.
“Yes!” Jahlani throws her hands up, shaking her head at the fond memory, before inching back down and readjusting herself on her lap. She begins toying with a loose thread on her cardigan. “I’ve never seen you angry, Imani. You punched him. You got suspended for it.”
“Yeah, well, he deserved it,” she grumbles, but Jahlani can hear the smile in her voice.
“You got suspended for me,” Jahlani says, her voice quieter now. “I didn’t understand it at the time. The way you explained it, the backhandedness of his comment. You were so mad. You grabbed my arm, and you said, ‘Jahlani, don’t ever say thank youto anyone who compliments you while tearing down your race in the process. You’re beautiful regardless of complexion. He’s a piece of shit.” She sighs, teasing the loose thread, unraveling it farther.
Jahlani drops her hands with a sigh.
“What if I’m a bad parent?” she asks in a low voice. “What if I’m like her—like my mom?”
Imani sits up straighter, her hands gently guiding Jahlani to sit as well until they’re facing each other.
“Jahlani, what are you talking about? You’renothinglike them.”
Jahlani’s eyes cut down to the quilt draped over the linen. “I think about what Micah said a lot. I think he was right a little, Imani. My parents … they messed me up badly and I don’t feelokay.”
Jahlani looks to the ceiling before she stares into Imani’s eyes with watery ones. Imani’s warm hands wrap around Jahlani and ease her down until they’re lying side by side. She presses a delicate kiss to her head.
“Damn you for keeping this shit from me,” Imani whispers against her hair, rubbing soothing circles across her arm. “I hate seeing you like this. And to answer your question, you would make anexceptionalmom. I know that because you care enough not to make the same mistakes that our parents did growing up.”
Jahlani nods, letting her words settle around her.
“She’s really sick, Imani,” Jahlani says after some time has passed. “What am I supposed to do? I care about them both so much, but I’m not what they need. They deserve better. He deserves someone who can give him one hundred percent, and I’m not there. I don’t think it’s fair to her for me to want more from him. You know? I don’t want him to turn into my parents. I don’t want him to neglect her for me.”
Imani sighs. “I think … Roman should decide what he needs and what’s best for both him and his daughter and you need to allow yourself to experience just being in the moment. Allow yourself to enjoy whatever this is between you and him without worrying.”
Jahlani swallows. “He’s so … whole and put together, and I’m not. Who wants that?”
