“I love when you call my name like that,” he says, pinching her nipples.
“Roman,” she rasps, her chest heaving. “I’m?—”
Her hands tangle with his own against her chest, not pushing, not encouraging him to touch her a certain way, not to pull them, they just rest on top delicately as she breathes out a series of expletives. She snaps her hips against him a few more times before she’s moaning excessively in the cabin of his car,her fingers curling to apply a slight pressure against the veins in his hands.
And a sudden thought strikes him as he watches her come undone, their hands pressed together, his length desperate to be inside her.
How much longer do we get to do this?
She falls forward, breathing heavily and he moves her hair to the side, pressing a soft kiss to her ear.
“At Thanksgiving dinner, you said you were staying temporarily. What does that mean?” he says, against the shell of her ear. He kisses against the piercings that glint on her ear, and she shudders.
“What?”
“Thanksgiving. What did you mean?” he says, his hand tightening on her hips.
She sits up, blinking slowly. “You really want to talk about this now?”
He leans back to look in her eyes. “I just want to know what it means,” he says, cupping her jaw. Her eyes bounce all over his face.
“You know what it means, Roman,” she whispers.
And suddenly that clock becomes more vivid in his head. He licks his lips, tightening his hold on her face.
“Do you want this, Jahlani?”
This. Us. You. Me. Together.
The silence is deafening in the car. She turns her head. “I don’t know.”
And really, he’s not surprised by her response. It’s inherently Jahlani. And he would have believed her if he didn’t know her so well. And he does know her well. And it makes him want to laugh and cry and jump for joy but also scream at The Fates for making him fall in love with someone who is so determined to notfeel too much.
But he knows she’s not ready to hear that and he’s already treading on dangerous waters with this conversation, so he shoves it down.
“Well then,” he says, drawing her face back to him to kiss her cheek, “you have time to figure it out because I already have my answer. In the meantime, I’m going to keep looking at you. I’m going to kiss you when I feel like it, and hold you when I see you, and fuck you every time I have the chance because yes, you’re worth the risk, and no, nothing about it will be quick.”
“And what if I say no?”
He shakes his head, adjusting her on his lap. “You won’t.”
“How do you figure that?”
“Because you want this as much as I do—maybe more,” he says, swiping his thumb along her mouth.
“It’s risky,” she murmurs, sliding her hands under his shirt. “We’d need some better rules of engagement.”
“Meaning?”
She inhales, thinking deeply as she runs her hands over his shoulders. “No eye contact at all during lectures. Don’t raise your hand during class. And no office hours anymore.”
He lets out a soft laugh. “So, you’re basically going to ignore my entire existence.”
She sighs, toying with a piece of thread on his shirt. “You and I both know that’s not possible.”
And it’s her admission that does it for him because he finds himself nodding, sliding his hands against her thighs.
“Yeah. Okay. I have one condition,” he says, leaning forward to kiss her.
