I was stressed beyond belief, and I didn’t want his reassurance.
“Hawthorne pack?” a nurse called out.
We all stood at once. Cole was the only one who had any composure whatsoever, but even he seemed stunned. She glanced over us all before landing on me.
“North?” she guessed.
Of course, she guessed it right. Another point in the ‘we should have known’ category.
“Yes,” I said, my voice wavering.
“We’ll take you back now,” she reassured me.
Everyone was trying to make it better, but the truth was nothing but those results could do that at this point.
“Right this way,” she said.
Her voice was so gentle and coaxing that I followed her, grateful she would at least lead me to more answers.
“Since your case is particularly unique, we had one of our senior doctors take it today. Doctor Lane is incredible,” she promised. “And thanks to the blood draw we did during intake to make this process a bit easier, she should be waiting with your results now.”
“Thank god,” I managed.
“We’re here to try to help this process go as smoothly as possible. We already prepared information for you and your pack, should the results come back that you are an omega.”
“Thank you,” I said again, sounding like a damn robot. I’m so anxious and detached.
“Tell me, how are you feeling about all this? I know it must’ve come as a shock. Do you need us to get you in touch with mental health resources? We have some amazing therapists who specialize in this kind of thing… as much as anyone can specialize in this kind of thing,” she said.
I appreciated her candor. It’s true this was not a normal case at all.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” I offered, though frankly, at the moment, I didn’t want to think about anything beyond the results.
She must’ve sensed that, picking up her pace as she led me deeper into the building. I expected a cold doctor’s office. Instead, the room looked more like a living room than anything.It was likely for consultations and difficult conversations. Today, I fit into the second category.
It was definitely the kind of room they took you to before they broke life altering, bad news.
Only I refused to consider this bad news.
Maybe it was the fact that my entire pack took it in stride, accepting it and finding ways to support me. Or this unknown locked away piece of myself that bubbled to the surface. I had felt like I didn’t belong in my skin for so damn long that I was struggling to adjust.
It was hard to be confident when something just didn’t feel right.
All those comments about never being beta enough, being too soft, too kind-hearted… it all boiled back down to this.
We all sat down in silence, the nurse placing the paperwork in a spot across from me.
The paperwork that was just waiting for the doctor to come in, discover it, open it up, and tell me if my life had changed or not.
God, I was fucking pathetic. I shouldn’t care this much, and yet, here I was barely holding it together.
“Breathe, North,” Aspen whispered, her hand cupping my cheek gently. Her eyes were full of worry, and I hated that I was stressing them all out.
“I’m sorry. I’m fine,” I said.
She snorted and rolled her eyes. “Sure you are,” she deadpanned, letting her hand fall away as she took mine instead and gave it a squeeze. “But you know what? It’s okay to not be fine. This is a mindfuck. I’m sorry if meeting me triggered something. I feel awful.”
“Don’t. Meeting you was one of the best days of my life,” I said quickly. “I want to be here, right where I am.”
