“Mercy had to end.”
She stands, moving further away from me. “I agree that it needed to end, but perhaps slaughtering people isn’t the only option.”
“There was no other way.” I resist the urge to get closer to her as she puts more space between us.
“I don’t even know what to do with that. Or you.”
Me either.“There’s only one more individual left to hold accountable.”
She appears confused as I admit, “Me.”
I place the dagger on the bed. “I took your mom’s life. It’s the single most regretful moment of my life. Nothing I do can make it right. I understand that. So, you should get to avenge her death.”
Ivy shuffles over, using the bed to assist her walking before she picks up the weapon and inspects it. When she looks up, I see the tears brimming in her eyes. “I’m not going to stab you, Luca. I want to punch you in the nose right now, but I don’t want to murder you. I hate you. Yet, I want to forgive you. I want to get past this for my sake, not yours. But I can’t.”
“I understand. But that doesn’t mean I won’t try to make it up to you for the rest of my life.”
She drops the dagger on the bed. “That’s just it, Luca. There’s nothing you can do to make it right. I don’t want to hurt you.Iwant to stop hurting.”
Sacrifice.I’d give my last breath if it meant easing her suffering, but it won’t.
90
IVY
Anthony places the bowl of yogurt and berries in front of me as he sets his own on the other side of the table and has a seat. He’s finally relaxed enough to share a meal with me.
I can’t shake the conversation I had with Luca last night. “How do you forgive someone for something that is unforgivable?”
“Well, if you love the person and want them in your life, you find a way that allows the both of you to get past it.”
“I don’t know if I love him. I don’t even like him most of the time.”
“You can love someone who hurts you. But you have to set your boundaries.” Anthony takes a sip of water before he continues, “But first, you need to heal. You can’t be worried about pardoning another until you forgive yourself.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do either. Too much has happened.”
“It might feel like that today. But time can achieve miraculous healing.”
I can’t even call him the butler anymore. He feels more like family than my own father does. “Has my dad been around at all?”
“No,” Anthony replies firmly. “He’s not allowed back on the premises, per Mr. Montclair.”
“Excuse me?” I wait on Anthony to give me more details, but he doesn’t so I ask, “Luca took the house back from my dad? That means I’m inhishouse. Great.”
Anthony states, “No, Ms. Walker. He had the estate transferred to you. Speaking of, I need you to sign off on a couple of expenses. Mr. Montclair also had your father sign over guardianship of Zachary to you and your uncle. A judge has already signed off on it. I’d suggested the joint arrangement until you’re completely well and ready to take on the task alone if ever. And I’m always here to assist with the day-to-day needs also.”
“I know you are.” I smile, taking in the information. It’s my house. My brother is under my custody. We’re free of my father. And Luca did it all. “But I really will fire you now if you don’t call me Ivy.”
“I’ll work on it. But my salary isn’t paid from your estate.” Anthony goes into explaining some of the details. Pretty much everything is handled, I just have to focus on getting better and graduating high school. Neither of which sounds doable.
“Can I sell this house if I want, or did he put in a stipulation to maintain control and to spy on me?”
Anthony replies, “I was instructed that you are permitted to do anything you want with the estate. Mr. Montclair has absolutely no control over it and didn’t want to prevent you from leaving if that was what you decided you needed to do in order to heal.”
“Wow,” I utter in a daze for a few minutes. That’s not a Luca thing to do. My guess would’ve been that he’d leverage it until I give in to whatever his next demands are.
Maybe he’s really not a bad person? Good people can make bad choices. No. I shut that thought out. I need to stay away from him and thinking about him.
