I’ve barely sat down at my desk when my phone buzzes with a message from Adam:I like it, Mia. Thank you for doing that for me.
I blink in confusion. Wait, what? He likes it? Oh God. He means my hair. Of course he means my hair, but I didn’t stop for coffee. Isn’t that how we’ve crossed paths in the past? How does he know what I look like today? Unease slithers through me all over again, but I warn myself to calm down, to ask questions, and to not claim assumptions as reality. With a trembling hand, I type:How?
You walked right by me. I told you. The universe wants us to be together.
My brows dip and I type a combative:And you didn’t say anything?
Is a random introduction on the street how you really want us to meet in person?he challenges.
“Hey, Mia,” Jack says, stepping into the office doorway. “Mrs.Mackey is here. She says you have a book for her?”
“Right,” I say. “Yes. It’s in the back. I’ll grab it.”
“I’ll let her know.”
He exits the office again, and my phone buzzes with another message. I glance down to read:Let’s meet this weekend. I have a surprise for you.
He has a surprise for me?
When?I type.
Saturday night, he responds.I’ll text you the details in advance.
My hesitation is unexpected considering how much we’ve talked, and yet expected in that I am me and forever insecure. What if he doesn’t like me in person? What if I don’t likehim? What if the magic of our calls is as awkward as it always is with everyone else?
I wet my dry lips and type,Saturday then, in confirmation.
I slide my phone into my pocket. It’s official. I’m going to meet him. I will see him with my own eyes, touch him, I am certain, and look into his eyes, which I know to be green from his dating profile. Once I do all these things, once I know him,reallyknow him, this entire situation will stop feeling weird.
Chapter Fifty
I wake Saturday morning, only hours from meeting Adam, with the incredible realization that he’s still my little secret.
Not an easy task with the two Js in my life, but as proves true at random moments in time, neither is in tune with me right now. Jess is busy with work and even had to cancel our drink date last night. Jack, on the other hand, is battling his knee injury to the point that he missed two days of work this week. I’ve tended to him, brought him dinner, bingedSquid Gamewith him, and ensured he was well medicated. He’s focused on himself now, rightfully so, and trying to heal.
In a frenzy of nerves over tonight’s meetup, I find my way to my kitchen and the coffeepot—rather quickly, even for me. Once my brew is ready, I lean on the counter, sipping from my cup, steam puffing from the top, and I contemplate why I’ve held Adam so close to my chest.
My mind slips back to midday Monday, when I’d made yet another run to the coffee shop, this time for the team on floor three. Loretta, the manager who’d scolded her staff member for labeling my cup “Girl,” had been there that day as well. She’d not only greeted me by name, but she’d complimented my hair.“Don’t you usually wear it tied at your nape?”she’d asked.
I’d been stunned that anyone had ever noticed, or remembered how I wore my hair at all. When my order was called, it was with a shout of “Order for Mia!”
I’d always thought that no matter what I did, I was dismissed, but that isn’t proving to be true, not at all. This leads to the question, Was I ever really invisible at all? Or did I simply choose not to be seen? I don’t know if I would have asked myself that question if not for Adam.
This is exactly why I don’t think keeping Adam a secret is really about Adam at all. I think it’s about this journey of self-discovery I’m traveling that needs to be raw and real and all my own. That said, I can’t keep this up for long. Next weekend is the wedding and awards ceremony. I do wish I could ask Jess for advice about what to wear tonight, but I dismiss this idea. It’s all or nothing with Jess, and today can’t be about her. Today is about me getting ready for Adam.
The buzzer downstairs rings, and I straighten and set my cup down, expecting this is something I’ve ordered from Amazon, as it seems I’m always ordering from Amazon. The addiction is real. For the most part, my packages arrive when the main downstairs entrance is open, and therefore they make it to my apartment level. I open my loft door, surprised to find Jess standing there in a pink sweatsuit, with her hair piled on top of her head.
“I brought muffins from Julie’s Bakery.” She indicates the goodies in her hands.
“Get inside already,” I say, taking one of the two bakery bags from her. “God, I love you, woman.”
She laughs and heads toward the kitchen, where she helps herself to coffee. “I can’t stay long.” She glances over her shoulder at me. “I have to go by the office and chat with my boss about a story I have due next week, but I haven’t seen you. That just feels wrong.” She sips her coffee and claims the barstool at the end of the island. “How are things?”
I refill my cup and join her at the island. “Jack has a knee injury. He’s been out of work for two days. I might run a muffin by him and check on him later.”
“Good Lord, really? How is that even possible? He’s young, not overly athletic from what I can tell, and probably doesn’t even have sex. How did he manage to hurt his knee?”
I snort my coffee and almost choke. “Because knees are always involved in sex?”
