This was a woman who didn’t care for relationships or strings. Just status and sex. The latter was something I used too often in the past to fix my problems.
She pressed a little firmer, moved a little closer until she was on her toes, and whispered in my ear. “You could fuck me on the counter again.”
There was a roaring in my head when I crashed my lips to hers. I grabbed her thighs and hoisted her onto the benchtop. Hoping that if I pushed through this, the guilt would subside.
Her taste was so different from Lily’s, foreign and unsatisfying as she kissed me back feverishly. She clawed at my shirt and the hem of my pants while I slid her flush against me. Even with Roxy’s long legs wrapped firmly around my waist like a vice, her center grinding against my cock, I felt nothing.
Either I drank too much or—
A pair of blue doe eyes flashed across my mind. Then her smile; those lips that felt like home.
I kissed Roxy harder as she hastily unzipped my fly. She was moaning already, moving her mouth to my throat as she made to push her hand into my briefs but stopped.
I glanced down at her wrist in my hand.
“I can’t do this...” I said softly, gently unraveling myself from her legs.
Roxy let out a laugh in bemusement. “Dean. Come on. We’ve done all this before, remember? You’re down in the dumps, we fuck, you feel a little better, and then we fuck some more.”
She slid down from the bench top and reached for my face. I stopped her hand again and lowered it.
“This is different,” I muttered, zipping up my fly.
“You came here,” she said sharply.
“I know. And I’m sorry...” I glanced up, expecting to find her scathing but instead, she looked stunned.
She crossed her arms. “That’s a first.”
I breathed in deeply but didn’t feel better for it. In fact, I felt shittier. Maybe Seb was right about me stringing Lily along. I seemed to have done the same to Roxy.
I frowned, unable to bring myself to say much else, and left, making it halfway to the front door before Roxy spoke again.
“She was good for you.”
Slowly I turned, wondering if I imagined the words coming from her.
She rolled her eyes as she leaned in the doorway of the living room. “As much as I hate to admit it, and wished you never laid eyes on her, she changed you for the better. You seemed...happier with her. Like you were actually enjoying life. When you were around her, it was the first time I had ever actually seen you smile.” She shook her head and then rubbed at her temple. “I can’t believe I’m saying this but you’re an idiot for letting her go.”
I blinked at her. Kindness from Roxy was the last thing I expected.
She sighed and with a subtle shift in her body language, morphed back into her usual façade. She put on her meaner mask with a flick of her hair as she turned away. “Lock the door on your way out.”
I ran a hand over my face and left, doing as she wished and double-checking the door was secured before I headed back to my car in a weird daze. I was numb and frustrated all at once with nowhere to go. No one to talk to.
Dropping heavily into the front seat, I started the car again but let it idle. I stared blankly ahead for a moment with my hand on the steering wheel.
I should call her.
I groaned and shook my head, reaching for the gearstick to put the Cadillac in reverse, but hesitated when my phone buzzed from within the console. I fished it out and turned on the screen.
Lily’s name was on the screen. Just the sight of it caused my heart to pound so hard, it drummed loudly in my ears. There was no text with her name, and I wondered if maybe it was an accident until I opened the message.
She had sent me her location.
Chapter 66
Lily
