"You okay?" Dean asked softly.
“Mhm.” The nervous squeak in my voice told him otherwise and he turned his body side on, one arm resting on the bench while he studied my face.
“I’m fine, Dean.”
His brow quirked before his gaze dropped to my finger tapping against the side of the wine glass. “You sure?”
I stopped tapping and smiled, hiding the guilt gnawing at my insides again. “I’m sure.”
His lips thinned as he nodded once. Not convinced but also not pushing as he looked at the group again.
I selfishly wanted to prolong the inevitable. He could leave if he found out I had never had sex before. It was a big if but it was something I learned firsthand from past experiences with boys. They wanted someone with experience but at the same time wanted someone with the virgin feel...
For the first time in a while, I felt ridiculously happy with someone and didn't want to ruin it, but I needed to tell him. Obviously when there weren’t so many people around.
For now, leaning against the bench top and offering him a reassuring smile was the best I could do. In response, he tucked his arm underneath mine and interlocked our fingers. He didn’t care if the others were watching when he leaned in for a moment to brush a kiss on my forehead. Then looked at me like I was the only person in the room.
I watched our hands as I asked quietly, “Can I get a lift home with you tonight?”
His brow creased slightly. “Yeah, of course.”
I moved closer to him, content as I looked back at the group and found Jen watching the entire interaction from across the bench. She smiled knowingly, and a little proudly, before she tipped her head and lifted her wine glass to her lips.
Listening to the group conversation again, I was grateful to hear it had shifted from podcasts to tattoos. Each of us had one and shared stories about them, taking turns going around the group.
Xavier had his birthday tattooed on the back of his neck in Roman numerals. “Because why not?” he shrugged.
Jen revealed the one across her lower back. Her face reddened as she said, “I was drunk,” and then backhanded Xavier’s chest when he laughed.
Seb, who revealed he hated needles, said he only had the initials of his two nieces written in a small font on the underside of his left bicep.
"That's so sweet," Kira cooed.
Aiden bristled at this and started talking about his tattoo collection next, going over his patchwork of minimalistic designs etched at random across his skin. He also seized the opportunity to talk pointedly about Kira’s name marked permanently across his heart.
“Oh. Wow,” Jen muttered into her glass.
Kira brought up ours next; our little graduation gift to ourselves that my parents still had no idea about. Hers was a tiny sunflower between her shoulder blades, mine was the tiny bunch of wildflowers in the same position.
Sunflowers were Kira’s favorite flower; Wildflowers were mine because I liked what they represented. They could be planted almost anywhere and withstand whatever was thrown at them.
“I think we know who takes the cake for the most impressive ink,” Seb said with a nod to Dean.
Dean, who had been content listening, slowly lifted his gaze to Seb and smiled a little. “We might be here all night.”
“Tell us about one of the little ones.” A knowing grin appeared on Seb’s face. “Like the bird.”
I immediately remembered the one situated on Dean’s right hip, beside his V-line, and only ever visible when his pants sat too low.
Dean shook his head in disbelief at Seb, huffing a laugh as he straightened. Tongue in cheek. “You’re an asshole.”
“I don’t see a bird,” Xavier muttered to Jen.
“It’s a swallow on his hip, right above his—” Seb whistled down to where he indicated, earning himself a mix of reactions from everyone else; Realization, laughter, surprise, and blushing from me with Dean standing so close.
Dean folded his arms as his eyes narrowed on Seb. “I hope you know you’re walkin’ home tonight.”
Seb only grinned wider.
