Then he sat down on one of the divans in the parlor and pulled a table close so he could write. There was just enough time to deliver a letter on his way to the dueling ground. When she awoke, it would likely be all over. But at least she would know the truth. Then, he could die in peace.
Cassie guessed the time was nearly four o’clock when she gave up trying to sleep and lit a candle off the banked coals in the bedroom fireplace. The sky was still dark. But she’d just heard the front door slam as Julian left the house to meet with Sebastian. Dawn must be an hour or so away.
She did not bother to call Bessie for help. It was hardly fair to expect the girl to go without sleep just because she could not. She stripped the nightgown over her head, washed, and dressed simply, tying her long hair out of the way.
Then, she rummaged in the jewel case for the amber ant and kissed it before pinning it to her bodice. When she’d returnedfrom Soho, she’d taken it off and sworn she would never wear it again.
She’d not lasted a day. But it seemed proper to wear it now, a bit of mourning jewellery that would have meaning to no one but her.
She heard the sound of footsteps in the hall. They hesitated at her door. Then, a folded paper slipped beneath it and into the room, and its deliverer hurried back down the hall and away.
She frowned and rose, crossing the room to retrieve the note, unfolding and reading.
My dear Miss Fisk,
I know we once agreed to be on more intimate terms, but it hardly seems right to take the liberty, after the wrongs I have done to you.
Know that, whatever else may happen today, I am truly sorry for them. No harm will come to your brother, no matter what else may occur. I intend to delope and take whatever punishment he wishes to give to me.
But I will not lie easy in my grave if you are left thinking as you did last night that I lured you to ruin, believing that Balard would marry you and hide any accident. My intent was to charm you away from him, keeping you into the evening so the proposal would never occur.
She smiled and clutched the paper to her bosom with a relieved sigh. The truth was bad, of course. But not as bad as it could have been. She brought it down again and continued to read.
My mistake was in believing that, when you came to my house a year ago, it was out of affection for me. In the year that separated our meetings, I’d spun some wild andunlikely fantasy that you were in love with me and not just concerned for your brother’s future.
I know now that it was foolish. Since I found you again, you’ve made it quite clear that you did not wish to renew our unusual acquaintance. It mortifies me that I continued to badger you after you made your wishes known.
As to what happened in Soho? You have nothing to berate yourself for. The fault was all mine. You were hardly the first woman to succumb to my advances there.
She gave the paper an angry shake, for that was hardly flattering.
But you were to be the last. My intention when I brought you there was to quit the apartment after that day, and share the rest of my life with you.
Her smile returned.
But then, you explained the reason that you nursed me, last year, and I realized how wrong I had been about your feelings.
He did not understand her at all. Perhaps she had not loved him at first sight. But now that she’d met with him again, she could not imagine a life without him.
I hope that what I do this morning will make up for my mistakes. To further make amends…
She had forgotten the duel. She read on, faster.
settlement…
my bank…
monies to be directed to you…
The rest did not matter.
She threw it aside, opened the bedroom door and ran down the stairs. It was not too late. It could not be. The sun was not yet up, and he and Julian would need a decent amount of light to do something as stupid as what they were planning.
She skidded to a stop in the front hall, surprised to find Banks, the butler, standing beside it as if it was normal to be at his post in what was still so close to the middle of the night.
‘May I assist you, Miss Fisk?’ he said, with a respectful nod.
‘Has my brother gone?’ she said, panting out the words.
