The truth of that had stung almost worse than Mr Drake’s earlier rejection. Was she really as bad as he had claimed this afternoon, so judgemental that her own grandmother did not want to speak to her?
She’d returned to the letter.
As I left today, I said that I would not waste my time on you. I regret these words more than any others I spoke for they imply that you were in some way at fault for what happened between us.
Any guilt or blame for today must rest completely on my shoulders. I am sorry that I proved to be the unworthy companion that you suspected I was and I give my word that I will not inflict my presence on you in the future.
Sincerely,
Gregory Drake
Now, as she dressed to go out for the evening, she was just beginning to accept the truth.
He had abandoned her.
She had suspected that it was happening as he had stormed out of the salon. She had convinced herself that perhaps things were not as bad as they seemed. As usual, she had been wrong. He was gone and the thought of it left her utterly bereft.
Their efforts to complete the entail would not be enough to solve her problems. But until the Earl arrived from America, it felt good to be doing something. It felt especially good to be doing that something with Mr Drake, who made the search feel more like a treasure hunt and less like a hard slog towards inevitable failure.
And then he had kissed her.
He had carefully avoided any mention of the kiss in the letter, which was currently tucked beneath the lining of the jewel case sitting on the vanity table in front of her. Even if someone bothered to search for it, they would not really know what had happened. But that meant neither would she. He did not explain why he had kissed her. He did not tell her if he’d felt anything other than embarrassment afterwards. And he had hinted that her feelings about it should be something between outrage, insult and disappointment.
As her maid, Polly, wrapped the stays around her body, Hope glanced in the direction of the hidden note, wishing it had been abillet douxinstead of an apology. She would likely be married without ever receiving one, while Grandmama probably had boxes of them. She sighed.
Then, at the prodding of the maid behind her, she took a few deep breaths to prevent being laced into an uncomfortably tight corset. Some girls did not even need one. But Hope had the same sort of physique that had been so flagrantly displayed in the picture that Mr Drake should never have seen. As with so many gifts from her grandmother, she could never decide if it was a blessing or a curse. She took another deep, overheated breath and the maid loosened the lacings again before knotting them and dropping petticoat and ball gown over her head.
Hope took her seat at the dressing table and Polly began to undo the curling papers and arrange her hair. When she looked up at her reflection in the mirror, she saw Charity standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame.
‘You should be dressing,’ Hope said, attempting a disapproving nod that was cut short by Polly’s tugs on her curls and the caution to be still. ‘Lord Ellingham’s ball is this evening and we will be leaving as soon as we have finished with my hair.’
‘Correction,’ Charity said. ‘You and Grandmother will be going. I will be staying here. I am right in the middle of a most interesting passage in one of the Comstock journals I found here and I cannot be interrupted.’
‘We did not bring you to London so you could tuck yourself away in a different library,’ Hope said, approving the finished coiffure and dismissing her maid. ‘You are supposed to be looking for a husband. You cannot do that if you do not leave the house.’
‘As I have said before,’ Charity answered, ‘no one will want me without money. It is better that we spend this Season focused on your prospects.’ Then she smiled, as if changing the subject, though her tone remained exactly the same. ‘Did you have an interesting day with Mr Drake?’
Hope could not contain her blush. ‘Did Grandmama show you the painting?’
‘She showed me both of them,’ Charity said. ‘But I assume you are asking about the one she sat for. Or laid for, rather.’ She threw one hand behind her head and rested the other between her legs.
‘You should not have looked,’ Hope said, shaking her head.
Charity shrugged. ‘Everyone else did. Even Mr Drake.’
Hope winced at the memory and felt her cheeks grow hot.
Of course Charity noticed. ‘And what did he think of the picture?’
‘He was too polite to give his opinion,’ Hope said.
‘Is he always so gentlemanly?’ Charity was staring at her as if she had already guessed the answer to the question. When she had that look in her eye, there was little point in trying to evade it. The interrogation would be relentless until she learned what she wanted.
Hope surrendered. ‘He kissed me.’
There was no pause of surprise before the next question. ‘Where?’
‘On the lips,’ she said, annoyed at the satisfied sigh that accompanied the words.
