Then, her head turned as if she’d felt his eyes upon her and she glanced across the street.
His stomach fell and his heart thumped hard against his ribs like a battle drum.
‘Georgiana.’ He’d said the name aloud, unable to control his tongue any more than he could the beating of his damn heart, which seemed to be speeding up, like some infernal machine springing back to life after a period of dormancy.
Never mind it, then. Let it beat. It was not as if she’d taken it with her when she’d gone. Nor should there be any harm in addressing her, if he saw her in public. They might be no longer be sharing a bed, but that did not mean they could not speak with civility when they saw each other on the street.
Or so he’d assumed. Apparently, their separation meant something quite different to her. If she saw him at all, it was impossible to tell. He’d sworn she had started in surprise as he’d called her name and glanced in his direction.
But that look lasted only a moment. Her eyes continued to roam, looking beyond him as if she had not seen him at all. A look of puzzlement had crossed her face, as if she had thought she’d heard her name, but decided she was mistaken. Then she looked directly at him with the unfocused gaze of someone searching empty air.
Once she had assured herself that there was truly nothing of importance to see, she turned away again, raising her parasol and giving it an indifferent turn in her hands before signalling her maid to take up the packages and walk down the street, away from him and out of sight.
For a moment, he was stunned by the enormity of it, unable to move from the spot, as if her directionless glance had turned him to stone. She had delivered the cut direct: the subtle and most perfect insult that one gave when a person ceased to exist in one’s world.
She had cut him, just as he had done to her when they’d first met. It had been a frivolous move on his part, a few months ago. He’d thought himself worldly and well mannered. He had wanted discipline in all things and all people. And he had been sublimely confident that the silly little girl would never become the very cog upon which his universe turned.
Now, his hubris was clear. She had turned the slight he had delivered back upon him, a thousandfold. He had opened his home, his arms, and his heart to her. And after a brief inspection, she had decided that she did not want to know him or see him, ever again.
It should not matter. He had been quite satisfied with his life before he’d met her. Now, he could return to it, just as he had intended. Everything was fine. He was fine. And he was not about to allow a foolish little girl to call him a coward around women and to rub his nose in his illogical fears of betrayal.
But if he was so sure of himself, then why had he nearly been overcome by the desire to run down the street after her, demanding that she acknowledge him? If she would listen, he could tell her that he had been a fool to doubt her.
He had resisted the urge, but just barely. No one had seen his weakness.
None but he and Sargent, perhaps. What had come over him to make him bring the dog? He had never given a thought that the dog might be lonely during his absence. But suddenly, he was sharing his house and his bed with the creature as if he owed it consolation for the loss of its mistress.
When he had returned home, the dog had been looking out the window, paws upon the glass in a most disobedient manner.
‘Off.’ At one time, he’d have had to give the command but once to have the dog respond. Today, Sargent would not listen. He continued to stare staring out into the street as if he’d assumed Georgiana would be returning with the master and must simply be dawdling in the road.
When he’d realised that was not the case, he had turned to look at Fred in a most accusing way, as if demanding an explanation for the loss of his friend.
‘She is not coming back,’ Fred had said, annoyed that once again he had been reduced to talking with an animal that could not possibly understand him. ‘And you are my dog, not hers.’
This was answered with a low whine, as if begging him to reconsider.
‘I cannot just apologise. She does not want me.’
The dog cocked his head to the side as if he could not quite understand this sudden change in affection. Then he wagged his tail, hopefully.
‘I am sure you are right. She still likes you. In fact, she always liked you. You are a noble animal and loyal as well. There is nothing to dislike about you.’
The dog still did not seem reassured.
‘She will be back to see you, I am sure.’ He crouched down and patted the dog on the head. ‘But it is probably for the best that I not be here when that happens.’
CHAPTER TWENTY
It had been three weeks since the night she left Frederick. That meant that she had been apart from him even longer than they’d been together. It made no sense that it still hurt as much as the day she’d written her letter of goodbye. It made even less sense that she was obsessing over a man who did not love her.
Rather, he’d treated her as a possession, or, worse yet, a pet. Dogs were not allowed in the house and wives were not allowed at Vitium et Virtus. Not that she really wanted to join his silly club, anyway.
Gambling was much the same anywhere one did it. Wine tasted the same no matter where one was when the bottle was opened. Perhaps the entertainment was wilder. But it was not as if she’d never seen a naked woman, since she owned a mirror. The artwork and statuary all seemed rather silly, once one got used to breasts carved into door handles and phalluses for coat hooks.
As for the sexual escapades offered? No matter what he thought, she did not want to be with anyone but her husband. Nor did she want him tempted to visit others, while using the excuse that he was under some obligation to be there as an owner. If that made her prudish, there was little she could do to change.
Little she could do other than to leave him alone, just as she’d planned. She’d spent a fitful night in the town house, then arisen early to arrange for rooms in Mayfair. Her belongings had been transferred without need of another awkward scene.
