‘If that is what you wish to call staying away for days at a time whenever you become angry with me.’
‘I call it business because that is all it is. I have responsibilities here and cannot sit at home simply because you are too immature to be alone.’
‘I did not ask you to stay home with me,’ she said. ‘Because I did not wish to do it myself. I came here to have fun and to be with my husband. And I do not understand why you, and your refined sense of propriety, are willing to come here yourself.’
‘That is different,’ he said. ‘I am a man.’
She nodded in mock understanding. ‘So. You wish me to stay home, by the fire, for the sake of your reputation.’
‘For your reputation,’ he contradicted.
She ignored him. ‘And all the while you will be here, terrified of making another mistake.’
‘I am not frightened,’ he argued, just as he had the last time.
‘You do not trust yourself. And you will never trust me,’ she said, suddenly sure it was true. None of their arguments had been about her behaviour. They had been about his fears of things that would never happen. ‘Tonight, I did nothing wrong,’ she said, surprised that it was true. ‘I was dancing. It was nothing more than harmless fun. But apparently, you are the sort of person who will not trust his own wife, even when she is in the same room with you.’
‘The sort of person I am?’ He stared at her in disbelief. ‘I was honourable enough to marry you after I watched you behaving even worse than Caroline did, trying to throw away your reputation in this very club.’
‘And thank you so much for your charity,’ she replied bitterly. ‘Perhaps I should be forced to pin a medal on you for such an upstanding moral sacrifice.’ Their time in the country had been nothing more than a lie if he would not forgive or forget what had happened while they were in London. ‘Since my presence in your life is such a continuing annoyance, perhaps I should remove myself from it.’
She regretted the words immediately. But it was not too late. Now, he would tell her not to be foolish. A single word of kindness and she could apologise. Then they would go home together and be happy again.
‘Very good,’ he said, yanking the bell pull again. ‘Snyder will bring the carriage around shortly.’
She swallowed. ‘That will not be necessary. I will find my own way.’ Hadn’t that been her plan, from the first?
‘Very good,’ he said, making no effort to stop her as she left, unmasked, through the main rooms and out the front door.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
She was gone.
He had spent the night alone in his room above the club, thinking it a fit punishment to let her wonder what he was doing and who he was with. It had never occurred to him that there would not be another argument, when he’d ridden back to Richmond in the morning.
She was probably sitting by the pond, watching minnows, but thinking of him. He would chastise, she would pout. They would reach some sort of temporary truce over this evening, where she would promise to be good and he would pretend to believe her. They would seal the agreement with lovemaking in his bed. Perhaps he would ask her to wear the mermaid dress that had caused him to make such a fool of himself at the ball.
In a week from now or less, she would do something equally outrageous, or even more so. It was annoying that she was proving to be so difficult to discipline. But there was some small part of him that was looking forward to the conflict. He was not always happy with what she did, but at least he was not bored.
What he had not expected was to come home to Polly, the maid, packing the last of her trunks to send back to London.
‘Where is she?’ he demanded, looking out the window at the yard. It was a pointless exercise. The emptiness of the bedroom was proof that she’d vacated the house.
The maid did not answer the question he asked, proving where her loyalty was, he supposed. Instead, she handed him a neatly folded sheet of paper, closed with the GK seal that his wife still used.
The note she’d left had been succinct.
Frederick,
While there is much about the last month that I will always cherish, our recent publiccontretempsis proof that we are simply too different in character to continue as a couple.
I know my behaviour shames you, but I cannot seem to last even a day without breaking some rule or other. Should I ever manage to succeed in total obedience, I suspect your happiness will come at the expense of mine.
And it is clear, by your continued visits to Vitium et Virtus, that you have no interest in my feelings at all. Liberty is the reason for membership there. Were we to go together, intending to share its pleasures, I would not mind. If you insist on barring my admittance I must assume that you think me incapable of fidelity.
If you fear my disloyalty, there or anywhere else, you have no reason for it. I never wanted any man but you, nor did I wish to be unfaithful. I cannot understand why you will not give me the same trust as you expect me to extend to you.
After careful reflection, I have decided that to avoid further public embarrassment for you and pain for me it is best we return to the original plan of living separate lives.
