He hadn’t anticipated how much it would hurt him too.
Her green eyes were wild. ‘Oh, yes, I forgot! I take it all back! You’ve changed me! Give yourself a pat on the back.’
‘Athena, stop, please.’
She smiled manically. ‘Okay. I’ll stop. See? The Athena reprogramming has worked wonders! Before you see yourself out, I have those clothes you kindly let me wear when you charged to my rescue and saved me from those bastard men. Hold on a moment.’ Not giving him time to argue, she sashayed off to her bedroom, quickly reappearing with his clothes folded in her arms.
Thrusting them at him, she said, ‘I did debate packing them for California but then I worried about giving them to you as I knew you wouldn’t want me handing them over in front of anyone—can you imagine the raised eyebrows?’ She raised her pretty eyebrows in imitation and folded her arms. ‘Obviously, that was before I knew I would be spending my time in California in your bed and not a hotel bed. Not going to lie, I did hope something might happen between us while we were away but that was a masterstroke of planning on your part. Still, as I’ve already said, you’ve had your fun, and so have I, and now you can see yourself out.’
When he didn’t move, she flapped a hand in the direction of the door. ‘Go on. Off you go. Chop-chop.’
His heart tight in his throat, he reached the narrow hallway before turning back to her.
She was still staring at him with that bright, brittle smile and with her arms still folded across her chest.
‘Don’t demean yourself or what we’ve shared,’ he said quietly. ‘You mean far more to me than a bit of fun.’
A host of emotions danced across her face. ‘You mean you really expect me to believe you’re calling it quits now because it’s become too heavy and I’ve turned into a distraction? Because that sounds like a platitude, and…and…’ Her voice caught, eyes suddenly brimming with unshed tears. Her voice now a choked whisper, she said, ‘It sounds like a platitude because if you feel a fraction for me of what I feel for you, you…you…you wouldn’t be walking away from me like everyone else I’ve ever loved.’ And then her face crumpled and she burst into tears.
Horrorstruck, he watched her sink to the floor and bury her face in her knees with gut-wrenching sobs.
He felt every sob as if it came from his own chest.
Chucking the clothes on top of the nearest armchair, he sank beside her and gathered her into his arms, holding her as he’d done what felt like a lifetime ago.
She clung to him as she’d done what felt like a lifetime ago, and it destroyed him to know he was the cause of her agony.
He should never have let it get this far.
He should never have let it start at all.
‘I’m sorry,’ she wept into his chest, her tremors vibrating through him. ‘I didn’t mean those cruel things I said, I swear.’
‘I know you didn’t,’ he whispered into her hair, squeezing his eyes tightly closed to fight the burn behind them.
Rubbing her back, wishing there was something to soothe his own pain and guilt, he continued to hold her until her tears had been purged and she swallowed and said, ‘I really am sorry.’
‘Don’t be. You were in pain.’ Was in pain. He’d inflicted new wounds on a woman who’d spent her life hiding away from pain.
She shook her head, her hair tickling his nose and chin. ‘No. You didn’t deserve that.’ She swallowed another sob and tightened her hold around him with a sigh. ‘You’re the best person I know, Draco Manolis.’
He exhaled raggedly and fought off another burn of tears. ‘And you’re the smartest and bravest person I know, and I wish…’
‘Don’t,’ she cut in, her voice suddenly low with tiredness. ‘It will only make it hurt more. This is how it has to be. We both knew it from the start.’ She gave a weak laugh. ‘I might have to punch myself in the face for that.’
He kissed her head, holding his mouth there and breathing in her scent for what he knew would be the last time.
‘You should go,’ she whispered, finally disentangling herself from his hold.
Draco got to his feet and held a hand out to her. She slipped her fingers into it and let him help her up.
They faced each other, drinking each other in for the last time with the intimacy that would be over when he walked out of her apartment.
Lifting her chin, her chest and shoulders rose as she smiled, the smile that was for him alone. ‘I’m going to miss you. Now, please go before I start crying again.’
With nothing left to say to each other, Draco picked his clothes up from the armchair and walked out of her apartment for the last time.
Only when he was cocooned in the back of his car did he sniff the clothing. It smelt freshly laundered.
