It took a long time for the heaving sobs to subside. When she was finally spent, her throat was raw and her heart wrung. Her whole body felt wrung.
But there was comfort there, too, in the tenderness of the hand stroking her back and the fingers gently combing through her hair, and she came close to crying again when the fingers stopped working their magic.
‘Here,’ he said quietly, having reached for the box of tissues on the bedside table for her.
Disentangling her arms, she took a handful and blew her nose noisily. ‘Thank you,’ she whispered.
He pulled her back to him and kissed the top of her head. ‘I’m sorry.’
It was a long time before she could bring herself to speak again. ‘It wasn’t you,’ she said hoarsely. ‘I knew you would struggle to believe me—it’s why I found it so hard to tell you. I wouldn’t have believed me if I was in your shoes.’
His fingers burrowed back into her hair. ‘Then what was it?’
She shrugged helplessly. ‘Everything. All the things I want to keep in the past coming back to haunt me.’ She tilted her head to give him an accusatory look. ‘Which, now I think about it, is your fault. I was having a lovely time forgetting everything and living for the moment but then you came along and brought with you all the old memories and all the old feelings. So yes, on reflection it was you who made me cry.’
The sad smile his firm lips pulled showed he understood she was trying to lighten the heaviness of all that had just happened. ‘Were you really having a lovely time forgetting?’
She helped herself to another tissue and wiped her nose. ‘Sometimes. But I never did forget. Not really.’ Wrapping her arm back around him, she pressed her cheek against his chest. ‘It was always there, festering away in my soul. My mother chose a house and money over me. That’s what it all came down to. I loved her more than anyone. She was my whole world and she let my father pay her off in exchange for leaving me with him. She let me be sidelined from her life without a fight, and I will never, never forget how she walked away without looking back at me while I was screaming at her and begging her not to leave me.’ She swallowed. ‘I assume your mother’s told you all this?’
‘Yes.’
Draco had imagined the emotional impact it must have had on her, but hearing it in Athena’s own words and hearing the raw pain in her voice told him he’d hugely underestimated how much it still affected her.
‘Did she tell you how I transferred all my love to her?’
‘She said you became her little shadow.’
A smile came into her voice. ‘I loved her very much. She’d always been a fixture in my life and I’d always adored her. When she was there, I felt safe and loved. My father was all wrapped up in Rebecca and her daughter, but Cora always made time for me. She would never have chosen money over you, would she.’
‘No,’ he agreed, even though it hadn’t been a question.
‘I was so lost and unhappy, and Cora just seemed to know what I needed, and she gave it to me, all the love and affection that had been taken from me, and it destroyed me all over again when she was fired. I missed her desperately and was still missing my mother desperately, too, and it all hurt so much that I just shut down emotionally. The world I knew and trusted was gone. My mother was gone, Cora was gone, my father had a new wife and another baby on the way, and on top of all that Lucie, Rebecca’s daughter, came to live with us for a while, too, and my father doted on her. I’d gone from being the baby of the family and being loved and coddled by everyone to nothing. The only time I ever got attention was when I acted out…and so I acted out and over time the Athena everyone loves to hate was born.’
‘It was deliberate?’
‘In part.’ She lapsed into silence before whispering, ‘I didn’t care if people hated me.’
‘It was better than letting them get close to you?’
She lifted her puffy, tear-stained face to stare at him. ‘Yes. Please don’t think I’m trying to play the poor little rich girl victim card. I’ve had a charmed, privileged life and I’m starting to understand why Alexis wanted to pull me out of it and give me a reality check—I took it all for granted. And my family does love me in their own way, and I do love them, but as a family we’re one big screw-up and I can’t say I wouldn’t have become the same person if that stuff with my mother and your mother hadn’t happened.’
‘I can.’
She gave a tremulous smile. ‘That’s sweet of you to say.’
‘It’s not lip service, Athena. I keep seeing glimpses of the woman you were meant to be. She’s in there, but it’s up to you to let her out.’ He took a deep breath before admitting, ‘I’ve seen your drawings.’
She flinched.
‘They’re exquisite. That charcoal portrait you did of your nephew… I assume it was your nephew?’
She gave a jerky nod.
‘It’s beautiful and full of love. No one whose heart is made of stone could produce something like that.’
Fresh tears filled her eyes and she blinked vigorously to hold them back. ‘Stop making me cry! I don’t do tears!’
He smiled ruefully. ‘If you need to cry then cry.’
