I slide my arms around her, holding her close. ‘Is this what you’d like me to build for you?’
‘Yes,’ she says emphatically and then twists around to look at me. Her golden eyes are glowing, her cheeks pink with pleasure. ‘This is exactly what I want, Rafael. The sea and the light…it’s perfect. How did you know?’
‘You said you wanted to make jewellery, which means you need light. And again, the sea means something to you, I think. I also thought you’d like it to be set away from the main house so you could feel as if you’re really in your own space.’
‘Yes.’ Her mouth curves in the most beautiful smile. ‘Yes, it’s all exactly right.’ She turns back to look at the sketch again. ‘Your drawing is so good. You should do more of it.’
‘I used to love drawing buildings,’ I say, not sure why I’m even telling her this and yet unable to stop. ‘I had a sketchbook I used to carry around with me. I actually wanted to be an architect.’
‘Oh, did you?’ This time, she leans back in my arms, her head resting on my shoulder, looking up at me again. ‘You didn’t pursue it?’
‘No. My father wanted me to work in the family business and I wanted to please him, so that’s what I did. And then…’ I stop.
‘And then Ulysses took your family’s business,’ she continues for me, her gaze enigmatic. ‘What about after that?’
I don’t want to get into this, but it’s not as if I haven’t told her. ‘You know what happened after that. I already said. I worked for theconsiglieriof one of theCosa Nostrafamilies.’
She blinks. ‘So, the Mafia, then.’
‘Yes.’ I give her a thin smile. ‘I wasn’t much interested in architecture after that.’
‘Why not?’
The question discomforts me for reasons I can’t articulate. ‘Why draw when you can hire someone to draw for you?’ I say casually. ‘I have an entire department of architects now. I don’t need to do it myself.’
‘And yet you enjoyed drawing this. I know you did.’
She’s not wrong, but I don’t like her saying so. ‘Yes, I did. But why should my enjoyment matter?’
‘Because you’re uncomfortable with me pointing it out,’ she shoots back. ‘Why is that? Does it remind you of your family?’
‘Why do you care?’ I turn the question back on her.
‘I’m going to be your wife, Rafael,’ she says without hesitation. ‘Shouldn’t I care?’
She’s so close, her scent and warmth distracting me and making it difficult for me to think. And I need to think. Especially if we’re going to be having this conversation. ‘No,’ I say and gently ease her from my lap. ‘You shouldn’t.’ I push back my chair and stand. ‘Don’t waste any emotion on me, dragonfly. That’s one thing I won’t require of you.’
She leans against the desk and frowns. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean, you don’t have to care about me.’
‘But aren’t I supposed to care? In sickness and in health, I thought.’
‘That’s not the kind of marriage we’ll be having,’ I say, my voice flat. ‘Certainly it will be physical and obviously there will be respect between us, but nothing more.’
Her frown deepens. ‘I know we’re not in love right now,’ she says with such blunt honesty that I’m taken aback. ‘I mean, we barely know each other. But surely after some time has passed and we—’
‘No.’ I can’t help myself interrupting. ‘There will be nothing more between us, Olympia. I can’t do love. I won’t, understand?’
Something in her gaze flickers. ‘Why not?’
I can’t tell if there’s a deeper meaning in her question, but I can’t lie to her. I can give her only the truth. ‘Because love is not something I’m prepared to give anyone.’
Her expression doesn’t change. ‘That doesn’t answer my question.’
‘Love didn’t save my father,’ I say, unable to stop the bitterness from leaking into my voice. ‘I loved him very much, but in the end it didn’t mean anything to him. I know it didn’t, because if it did, he wouldn’t have taken his own life.’
Again, something flickers across her face, and I have a horrible feeling it’s sympathy. ‘Rafael…’ she murmurs.
