Slowly, she turned over and shuffled over to him. When she reached him, she nuzzled her nose into his side before lifting her head to lay her cheek on his chest and curl into him.
He closed his eyes and took another deep breath before wrapping his arm around her. Her slenderness felt very fragile.
It was a long time before he was able to fall asleep.
CHAPTER FIVE
THE DRILLING INAthena’s head was different to the drilling of Draco incessantly ringing her doorbell to wake her. Had she changed the tone, she wondered blearily before she blinked her eyes open and memories flooded back, at the same moment she realised her pillow was a human chest and that much of her warmth came from the arm hooked around her.
Draco.
Her heart ballooned into her tightening chest, and she closed eyes suddenly filled with hot tears. Chin wobbling, she concentrated with all her might on breathing, the only way she knew to stop tears from falling, unable to think of anything but that she was in bed with Draco and that he’d saved her.
Oh, God, what must he think of her? If he’d hated her before, he must despise her now, and in her weakened state she didn’t have the mental strength to tell herself she didn’t care what he thought of her.
She couldn’t stay here like this. She needed to find a way to thank him for taking care of her that didn’t sound pathetic and didn’t make his disdain for her rise even higher, and then go home and clean herself.
She wished she could clean her soul too.
If she could extract herself without waking him, she would write a note of thanks and leave without a scene. Or she could message her thanks to him. He’d programmed his number into her phone and made her send him a message so he had the right number for her, for the sole purpose that if she did a disappearing act in the office he could contact her and demand she get her backside back to her desk.
Extracting herself proved harder said than done. Somehow, she’d managed to cocoon herself in the section of duvet that wasn’t trapped beneath him, and she had to wriggle away from him and use her hands to dig herself out of its confines.
Her head had never pounded with such strength. Clutching it, she eased herself upright. On the bedside table facing her sat a large glass of water and two painkillers. She looked at them, blinking back more tears at this unexpected kindness.
It was as she was shakily putting the empty glass back down that he spoke. ‘How are you feeling?’
She closed her eyes and summoned the breeziest smile she could muster and hoped it sounded in her voice. ‘Like I need to go home.’
‘I’ll take you back later. When you’re feeling stronger.’
‘I feel fine,’ she lied, ‘and I wouldn’t dream of putting you out any more than I already have. What you did for me last night…’ She swallowed a breath, swallowing tears with it. ‘Thank you.’
She felt the mattress move as he sat up. She couldn’t bring herself to face him. Didn’t think she’d ever be able to look him in the eye again.
He hauled himself over to sit beside her, his feet resting on the porcelain floor a safe, respectable distance from hers. ‘You remember?’
Gaze locked on the now empty glass, she nodded. ‘Some of it’s hazy, but I think I remember most of it.’ Her voice dropped. ‘I know how lucky I am that you were there. I’m sorry for ruining your night.’
His gruff voice was heavy. ‘You didn’t.’
‘I did. You probably wanted to carry on partying after it all happened, but I clung to you like a limpet. I guess it’s because you appeared when I needed you.’ And the moment he’d put his arms around her she’d felt protected and safe, feelings she hadn’t felt since she was a child, feelings she’d been too weak to resist or fight. She extended her neck and lifted her chin. ‘Anyway, now’s your chance to get it over with.’
‘Get what over with?’
‘The bollocking for being stupid enough to have my drink spiked.’
She heard him exhale a long breath. ‘The only blame for the spiking goes to the men who did it. That wasn’t stupidity on your part, that was all them. They had those drugs with them for a reason. If it hadn’t been you, they would have fixed on someone else.’
‘But they chose me for a reason. They knew who I was. They thought I was easy prey.’
After a long silence, he said, ‘Would you blame a rape victim for being raped?’
She whipped her stare to him. His gaze was fixed on the wall. ‘Of course not.’
‘Then why are you victim-blaming yourself?’
She turned her gaze back to the glass and whispered, ‘Because everything is always my fault.’
