‘Ecstatic.’ Eyes narrowing, he subjected her to a protracted perusal, frustrated shadows cutting into the smooth planes of his face. ‘I understand this situation isn’t ideal, Serena. It isn’t where I expected or wanted to find myself either, you know.’
‘You think I don’t know that? You made your regret about what happened between us very clear that night in Singapore.’ His nostrils flared as she threw that at him, and a line of intense colour scored its way across his cheekbones. ‘And as if that wasn’t enough, you then didn’t even believe I was actually pregnant. You came to London intent on exposing me as a liar.’
Serena hated that it still hurt, that his opinion held such power over her. That she wanted him to see her as someone good. Someone who wasn’t a regret.
‘Put yourself in my position, Serena. With my wealth and status, I only questioned what any man in my situation would.’ He sighed heavily. ‘But you’re right. I didn’t handle the situation well, and you didn’t deserve to be met with that. But when I got your email, I went into self-protection mode, and it was easier for me to believe that it wasn’t true and to focus on that anger that made me feel, than it was to deal with all the feelings that accepting the truth would conjure.’
It was a moment of such startling and unexpected honesty that Serena’s heartbeat faltered. It was her first glimpse of the man who lay beneath the impenetrable façade, and she wanted to see more of him.
‘Feelings about how a family was never something you wanted?’ she ventured tentatively.
He nodded stiffly, and the uneasy emotion spiking in his gaze seemed to hint at a wound that had never quite healed, a scar that he would go to any lengths to prevent inflicting on any child of his own. Her curiosity intensified.
‘Did something happen to make you feel that way?’
He looked over at her, and Serena held her breath, her heart racing with anticipation to learn more, to knowsomething realabout him, but with a blink, his gaze shuttered once again, and the abrupt change sent a chill across her skin.
‘It’s not important.’ The words fell like bricks, reconstructing that wall between them that had, for a moment, felt like it was beginning to be dismantled. ‘What matters now is that there is a child and we are going to be a family and that I do the best I can for both of you. It’s not what either of us expected, but it’s the situation we’re in. I suggest you accept that. The sooner you do, the better off we’ll both be.’
Her eyes narrowed, the words scraping against her overwrought senses, the disappointment at how quickly he had shut her out making her annoyance even more potent. ‘You may be able to control everything else, Caleb, but you donothave command over my thoughts or emotions.’
He arched a brow, clearly disliking his command capabilities being questioned. ‘Is that so?’ he drawled, gazing down at her with such emotion brewing in his gaze that her bones actually shook.
Until that moment Serena hadn’t realised that they’d been drawing closer and closer and now stood only an inch apart. They were so close that every frantic breath she drew in contained a heart-stopping trace of him, and in the glitter of his eyes she could read the intent to prove that, should he wish to, should hechooseto, he could very easily exert mastery over all of her, just as he had that night in Singapore. Her breath locked in her chest at the prospect, as thrilled by it as she was scared. The light in his eyes deepened as they dropped to her mouth, eyes which seemed intent on devouring, and curse her, a part of Serena hoped that he would. Craved it desperately. Because she knew that the moment his lips touched hers, all else would cease to matter. Her frustration, her fear, her reality—all of it would be silenced by the exquisite texture of his sensual skill, by the possessive slide of his hands over her skin. There would only be oblivion, and right now, that was so very tempting to her.
An inch. That was all that was separating Caleb’s mouth from Serena’s. He would barely need to move his head to feel her lips yielding beneath his. And Caleb had no doubt that she would yield. The same flare of white-hot intensity that licked at his insides was dancing coaxingly in her eyes and humming in her blood. He could hear it. See it. The flutters of her pulse were so hard they were visible and it wasbecause of him.
The intoxicating knowledge nudged him even closer to the kind of reckless behaviour he knew he needed to stay far away from. But, despite knowing that, in that moment, he found it difficult to care or believe in its imperativeness. He knew that the force of his longing was all the greater because it had been so long since he’d found sexual release. The only woman he’d wanted was the woman now standing temptingly close to him, her presence some kind of dangerous dare. And to finally slake that deep and vast hunger, to finish what they had started but not fully satisfied, all he needed to do was lower his head a single, tiny inch. But whilst that was what he wanted to do most of all, he hadn’t entirely forgotten that it was the last thing he could allow to happen.
So, he summoned the discipline that had never been in such short supply as it was around Serena and took a step backwards. And then another. His blood continued to burn with the proximity of temptation, and even more alarming was the way he could feel that something between them had tilted. Not for better or for worse, but something that had been simmering since their reunion on the street in London, but which had not been acknowledged, had just flared too powerfully for either of them to be unmoved. To keep pretending it no longer existed. Even if it was the last thing he wanted to exist between them because there was no place for it in their relationship.
Their marriage was going to be an unemotional endeavor, and he needed to be sure Serena understood that. That he made the parameters clear now, at the outset, so that she didn’t build pretty, romantic plans in her head and end up with her life in tatters, as Charlotte had. So that she didn’t interpret any moments of unforgivable weakness on his part as anything other than exactly that—the very real needs of a red-blooded man around a beautiful woman, a woman who made him burn hotter and higher than any who had come before. Even after all this time, and all his efforts to put her from his mind.
He needed to keep it front and centre in his own mind too, especially now they were sharing the same home, because every moment spent in Serena’s presence was a moment that threatened a loss of control that couldn’t,mustn’t, happen.
Only moments ago, he’d been felled by the sight of her in the swimming pool, the elegant shape of her back and the pale peach tone of her skin inflaming a desire that had stopped him in his tracks. His eyes had feasted on her, and he’d wondered if she was naked in the water and blood had surged south with the thought. He’d been hit with the thought of stripping off his suit and diving into the water to join her. But he knew better. And yet he hadn’t been able to make himself continue on to his room, so he’d stood, drinking her in like a man starved of water, until the weight of his gaze had become too heavy and her head had turned and their eyes had caught and the connection that had zinged between them had been electric.
However, it had disappeared as quickly as it had struck, and instead of the fire and hunger that Caleb had wanted to see in Serena’s eyes, there had been annoyance. Even the diamond ring hadn’t sparked any pleasure, and it aggravated on a male level that whilst he had been affected, she hadn’t. And he was being affected too often, and in too many ways. He’d let her believe that his dismantling of her stepmother had been done to press his advantage, which it had, but not entirely. He’d wanted to protect her too. She’d looked so fragile, so broken down by her stepmother that he’d wanted to be her white knight—not that there was anything to recommend him for the role—and rescuing her had felt good. Far better than it should. Which was far too much.
‘You should shower and change. Chef Pierre will be arriving soon to prepare dinner.’
She blinked in surprise. ‘You didn’t mention anything about having dinner together earlier.’
‘Well, I’m mentioning it now,’ he snapped, his patience running low.
‘And what about my feelings on the matter? Do I not get a say in how I spend my evening?’ she demanded, the fire of her Italian heritage rising again as if from nowhere, and he hated that he found it so sexy, that it made him want to plumb the depths of her even more.
‘No, you don’t. There are matters we still need to discuss,’ he riposted, seeing anger flash like lightning in her eyes again before he turned on his heel and walked away. Let her think of him as arrogant and controlling. It was better that way, better if she loathed him. It would help keep distance between them, distance he was struggling with. ‘Be ready in an hour.’
CHAPTER SEVEN
Serena looked anywhereother than at Caleb as they sat opposite one another at the table exquisitely set for two. Her body was still vibrating and her lips tingling with the want that had coursed through her and been left unsatisfied. She was so angry with herself for wanting the kiss so badly, and angry with him, for being able to step back so easily and then demanding she sit down to eat with him. Because with every interaction with him, Serena felt less in control of the situation, and even more worryingly, of herself.
‘A contract is being drawn up and will be delivered to you before the wedding for your review and signature,’ Caleb began, after their first course was laid before them. ‘But I thought it would be a good idea for us to go over in person some of the main details of what our marriage will entail.’
‘A contract?’ The word caused unease to prickle along her skin, making her think of rules and consequences, reminding her too much of life under her stepmother. ‘Is that necessary? This isn’t a business deal.’
He dealt her a quelling look. ‘That’s exactly what this is, Serena. A short-term merger so to speak. The contract just lays out all the particulars.’
