Annoyance flared in his slate gaze and Serena felt a small dart of childish pleasure that she was getting under his skin. ‘What I mean is we only had sex once, Serena.Once.And I used protection. I always do.’
‘Clearly it wasn’t as effective as either of us would have liked,’ she muttered, taking a small sip of her tea.
‘You weren’t taking a contraceptive pill?’
‘No. I had no reason to be.’
A muscled flickered in his jaw. ‘You seem very calm about all of this.’
‘If my choice is between being calm or hysterical, I choose calm.’ She hadn’t been hysterical last time, but she hadn’t been far from it. Being eighteen and pregnant, her emotions had been all over the place, and those feelings of fear and overwhelm had only spun more out of control when Lucas had deserted her. She carried a lot of guilt over that, certain that her fraught emotional state had contributed to her miscarriage, and she was determined that couldn’t happen again. This time, she would keep herself in check, take care of herself. ‘And it’s not as though being worked up about it will change anything, is it? Nor would it do any good to me or the baby.’
It was impossible to miss the flare in his eyes at mention of the baby. ‘So, you are planning to continue with the pregnancy then?’
‘Yes. That’s not up for discussion,’ she added warningly, noting the spike of emotion in his expression. Was it panic? Frustration? Dread? It occurred to her then, with a rush of distress, that perhaps that was why he had made the long journey to London, to try and compel her to abort the pregnancy. The thought rattled her, and she settled an arm protectively across her stomach. ‘So, if that is what you came all this way to talk about, you had a wasted journey.’ She only just managed keep her voice civil.
‘You think I would fly more than halfway around the world to pressure a woman into terminating a pregnancy?’ he demanded, his horrified expression appearing to be genuine in its offence. ‘That’s the type of man you think I am?’
‘How would I know?’ Serena posited, refusing to feel quelled by his response. ‘I don’t know you, do I?’
She knew how his skin tasted on her tongue, she knew the strength contained in his chest and arms and how it felt to be locked against his body and trapped in his silvery gaze. They were things she hadn’t been able to forget however hard she’d tried—things she wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to forget—but that was physical. Irrelevant. Emotionally, she had no idea who Caleb Morgenthau was.
For a brief moment, Serena had thought she did. She’d thought that they understood one another in a way that had been rare and rich. As much as a she’d known nothing could really come of it, that moment of connection had been like finding a rare jewel, one that she could take out and admire on her hardest days, but then he had turned so cool and remote, so perturbed by her lack of sexual experience that everything that had come before had been proven false and it had hit her like a freezing wave that she really didn’t know him at all. Just as she hadn’t known Lucas. The resulting disillusionment had been even more chilling than the realization, and that had only made her want to flee even faster. She wouldn’t be making the same mistake twice, presuming to know what kind of heart guided his intentions and motivations. She had to be guarded. There was no other choice.
‘Exactly,’ he exclaimed, seizing upon the word with a vehemence that warned his emotions were far closer to the surface and far more volatile than Serena had first reckoned. ‘You don’t know me.’
‘But I do know what you told me that night in Singapore, which is that family and commitment hold no appeal for you.’
He had been upfront about that, and Serena hadn’t expected it to suddenly change. That was why she had been so unprepared for the sight of him. If her actual boyfriend, someone who had professed to love her, had run away from her and their baby, why would Caleb, a man she’d spent only a single night with, go to the special length of crossing the globe to be involved? In a perfect world, maybe, but Serena knew the world wasn’t perfect. It could be unfair and unkind.
Losing her mother so young had taught her that, and just when she’d been finding some kind of equilibrium, life had taken her father from her. Again, she’d picked herself up, found a way forwards, and when she’d thought happiness was in striking distance, that she could build a new life with Lucas and their baby and the twins and finally have a whole and happy family life again, cruelty had struck once more. So, she had to tailor her expectations to reality to keep from being broken all over again.
Looking him in the eyes, she took a steadying breath. ‘Look, Caleb, the reason I told you about the pregnancy is because I believe you have a right to know, and so that if one day, twenty years from now, this child wants to find you, it won’t be a complete shock. But that’s theonlyreason. I wasn’t trying to induce some reluctant involvement on your part when I know that’s the last thing you want. I certainly wasn’t expecting you to interrupt your life and fly all the way here…’
‘I was coming to Europe anyway. I have business in the South of France,’ he interrupted. ‘I continue there tomorrow.’
She was just a pit stop, then. It was hard to decide whether to be relieved or insulted by that, but Serena settled on relieved, the admission making some kind of sense to her, given what she knew of him. He had ventured in her direction only because he was in the vicinity and he wanted to see how big of a problem she was to be solved, and that was something she could set his mind at ease on right away.
‘My point is, I never had any expectation that your feelings would miraculously change overnight. I made this decision aware of that. So, this—’ she gestured with a wave of her hand between them ‘—you being here, checking in, whatever it is you’re doing, isn’t necessary. At all.’
If anything, her words seemed to have caused even darker storm-clouds to gather in his eyes. ‘On the contrary,ifyou are pregnant, andifI am the father, then I have certain responsibilities. Surely you would agree on that point?’
‘If,’ Serena scoffed, trying not to be offended and failing, because it was impossible to misunderstand the ugly intention behind his question. He was all but accusing her of being an opportunist, or even worse! ‘You think I’m making this up?’
Briefly, the expression in his eyes seemed to shift,soften,and she thought he was going to reassure her that he did believe her, but in an instant, they’d regained their hard glitter. ‘In the same way you don’t know me, I don’t know you well enough to make an assessment on what you would or wouldn’t do.’ Even as he said that, Serena knew that he had already made an assessment—and one that hurt. ‘So, to start with, I’m here for my own confirmation that this pregnancy is real.’
As much as Serena would have liked him to take her word for it, she supposed it was a fair and pragmatic request and one she shouldn’t judge him too harshly for. As a man of wealth and prominence, he had every reason to seek his own clarification. Not that she was sure why he wanted it when she didn’t anticipate him doing much with it. He hadn’t exactly refuted her suggestion that he didn’t need to be involved, had he? Yes, he’d made mention of responsibilities, but what ones exactly? Nothing about him screamed hands-on parenting was anywhere in his future. His custom designer suit certainly wouldn’t hold up well around the bodily functions of a baby. Serena could only surmise that he was thinking of financial responsibilities, offering a lump sum in lieu of anything else. She didn’t have to wonder too hard about why that option would appeal to him.
‘OK. I can arrange to have a blood test and have you copied in on the results. I’ll call my doctor, but it may take a few days to get an appointment.’
‘I have a doctor who has agreed to fit us in and do the test this evening,’ Caleb announced.
‘Of course you do.’
‘At my request, and with your consent, she will also perform a DNA test.’
Serena tensed, a fear-poisoned arrow shooting to her heart. She had heard about amniocentesis, the needle and possible side effects, and with panicked breath building in her chest, she started to shake her head. She was absolutely not risking her pregnancy just so he could have…
‘There’s no need to look alarmed,’ Caleb said, almost too kindly. ‘I’ve been assured its non-invasive and perfectly safe. Blood is taken from both of us and provided you are over eight weeks pregnant, which if I am the father, you should be, fetal blood should be present with yours andbe a match for mine.’
