“Because I want to stay back at the hotel where I’m close to him.” Her voice broke on a catch, her breath coming in harsh pants. Every inch of her ached, her muscles felt heavy, and yet nothing could touch the monumental void in her chest. She knew she was clinging to her infant son and yet, suddenly, it felt like there was no place for her anywhere else.
“I don’t want to be here.” She covered the few steps between them, thrusting herself into his space with a belligerence she’d never displayed with anyone in her life. “Or was the hotel bill becoming too much for you?” It sounded ridiculous to even her own ears.
His sigh, more than anything, made a spark of shame flicker in her chest. “You will not provoke me tonight,bella.” He lifted his hand to her face, seemed to think better of it, and pulled away. “It isn’t good for you anymore at the hospital, Mimi. The nurses told me you were constantly obsessed with his stats. They said you raised the alarm a few times because you were worried that his breathing might have changed. You even wander over there in the middle of the night.”
A prickling heat behind her eyes made the vision of him shimmer. God, she was so tired of crying. How could her tear ducts make more of them? “So they were spying on me for you?”
His hands clasped her upper arms, his grip firm and yet somehow gentle. Tight lines fanned out from his eyes and his mouth. The shimmering vision solidified, the deep trenches exhaustion had carved into his face becoming clearer.
While she’d been obsessing over Luca, Renzo had been working long days and nights, only stopping to spend time with her and Luca. And not for one moment had he shown even a glimpse of impatience or tiredness. His strength, both mental and physical, seemed to be relentless. The small spark of shame in her chest burned brighter.
“No,bella. They are worried about your mental health, as am I. Luca will come home one of these days, and I’m sure you want to be recovered and well for him,sì? Staying there isn’t helping you, Mimi.”
“What if something happens to him while I’m gone? While I’m sitting here in the lap of luxury sipping some disgusting green juice?”
Renzo tilted his head, his brows drawing together. “That’s only your fear speaking. You said yourself how much you trusted the neonatal specialist.”
“I will go mad here, Renzo. I can’t—”
“Give me three days and nights,cara.” The tips of his fingers pressed against her clavicle on both sides. And the touch, more than his words, pulled her from the edge of hysteria. “If you can’t bear it, I’ll take you back. And in the meantime, we will visit him three times a day.IfI am assured that you’re eating and sleeping properly.”
His offer surprised her and for just a second, she could think outside the worry constantly clouding her thoughts. And he had so many more people to worry about than just her and their son.
The realization snapped her out of the deep abyss she’d been dwelling in for days now.
She had never in her life, not even for a moment, become a burden or the source of worry for anyone. Not her mother, not John and not even Pia. If anything, she had gone out of her way to be self-sufficient, wary of trusting anyone enough to show her doubts or worries.
And yet with Renzo, she had been behaving miserably. As if he were her enemy instead of her partner, while all along, his patience and strength had been constant.
She’d forgotten how hard it was for her to lean on someone. For some reason, Renzo made it extra hard. She wanted to hide away all her vulnerabilities. She wanted to never lose his respect, never let him see the yearning to belong somewhere.
The yearning to belong to him, which had only gotten stronger in the last couple of weeks.
Some of it was her hormones riding her hard, but some of it grew because she’d had a taste of what it would be like to be utterly his. To be the center of his laser-eyed focus, to be able to lean on him, to know him like no one else did.
She nodded, not raising her gaze above his throat. “That’s fair,” she said softly. “I’ll go unpack.”
Which was an inane excuse, because she had nothing to unpack. But she needed to get away from him and his painfully perceptive gaze. Needed to find her balance.
She walked past him toward the hallway he’d gestured to, her bare feet silent on the cool floor. Without noting any details of the bedroom, she went straight to the closet. Of course, it was the size of an entire flat.
She undressed quickly and pulled on a silk robe hanging in the closet.
It dwarfed her, but she didn’t care. All she wanted was a bath and then sleep, so that she could shake off this dark mood and wake up refreshed to see Luca.
Feeling much better already, she strode to the en suite bathroom and stilled.
Stunning as the rest of the penthouse, it was a marble paradise with a rainfall shower and a freestanding tub that seemed to belong in a spa.
Renzo was kneeling by the tub, his fingers dipped into the steaming water. In his other hand, he held tiny glass bottles that he was perusing intently.
Pulled up tight, his black trousers highlighted the wiry strength of his thigh muscles. The same strength her own body was beginning to not only recognize but crave melting into.
Mimi looked away, only to find her attention snagged by his profile. A sharp, too-long nose, a high forehead, and a mouth that could have been shaped by any one of the art geniuses from this part of the world…he was too magnificent to look at, too larger-than-life to be real.
Marriage had always been firmly in the No column for her in the near future. Especially after Pia had played with her emotions. When with Pia around, she always doubted a man’s attention toward her. The two boyfriends she’d had had been more excited about her connections to Pia than about her.
And yet…this man was her husband. A “duty” he took very seriously. The title and their bond seemed as irrevocable as the changes in her body, mind and soul that giving birth to their son had wrought.
