They were both breathing hard as he leaned his forehead against hers.
“Natalie...we should stop.”
“Oh. This isn’t what you want?” She’d been such an idiot. Just because she’d been attracted to him and wanted to take advantage of this time for intimacy didn’t mean he did. Maybe he’d just kissed her so she wouldn’t feel bad. She shot back from him. “I’m so sorry. I—”
“Peaches.” His voice was guttural as he grabbed her and pulled her back against him so her fingers were once again touching his chest. “Believe me, I want this. But there’s stuff about me you don’t know. Important stuff.”
He had things he hadn’t told her. Logically she already knew that. But they couldn’t possibly be as big as the ones she hadn’t told him. Her fingers curled into his muscles.
“Is there someone waiting for you at home who will be upset if we do this?”
He gave a shake of his head against the pillow. “No. Nothing like that.”
Really, that was all Natalie needed to know. She leaned back in to kiss him, but he stopped her again, holding her by the upper arms while his thumbs drew gentle circles on her shoulders.
“Natalie, you still need to know—”
She cut him off with a finger to his lips. “You know what? There’s stuff about me—also important stuff—you don’t know. We’ve both got secrets. But just for tonight, let’s leave them out in the snow, okay? For tonight, it’s just you and me inside this place. Nothing else. No one else.”
His eyes were burning, tortured. “Peaches—”
She brought her lips up to his, replacing her finger, knowing he didn’t know how much it was costing her to put herself out there like this, how much his rejection would completely crush her.
“Ren, the only question I need answered right now is whether or not you want me.”
He didn’t answer her in words. He didn’t have to. Instead, his hand gripped the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head, throwing it to the side. He fisted a handful of her hair as his lips ravished hers, his tongue licking deep into her mouth as if he couldn’t get enough of the taste of her.
A hot wave crashed in her chest. She had never felt like this.Desiredlike this. She was drowning in it.
Ren’s other hand slid down to her hips, pulling her up against him. Leaving her zero doubt that he did, in very definite fact, want her.
It was amazing and overwhelming. She’d only ever been with Damien and that had never, ever—even at the best of times—felt like this. Like she could gladly stay in this bed for the rest of her life and that would be just fine.
Ren was big and strong and domineering, holding her tight against him as they nestled side by side on the bed, keeping her where he wanted her. But when he rolled over on top of her, covering her with his big body, despite how much she wanted him, wanted this, all her mind could remember was Damien holding her under him. Forcing himself on her even when she didn’t want anything to do with him.
She tried to keep kissing Ren, to just push past the ugly memories that tried to creep in, but he noticed.
He sat up, holding his weight on his elbows on either side of her head, using his thumbs to brush her hair off her cheeks. “Hey,” he whispered. “What’s going on? Did you change your mind?”
She tried to force words out, but they wouldn’t come. As tears slid down her temples, he caught them with his fingers.
“Peaches. If you’ve changed your mind, that’s fine.”
“I—I got a little overwhelmed.” She finally got the words out. “It’s been a long time for me. And even before that it...wasn’t good.”
Anger burned in Ren’s eyes but Natalie knew it wasn’t directed toward her. Somehow he understood about Damien, had read between the lines, or maybe she hadn’t been as secretive as she’d thought when she talked about her past.
Ren rolled his weight off her, and all she could feel was a crushing defeat. All her talk about it just being the two of them inside the cabin and she’d gone and ruined it all. When Ren sat up she knew he was pulling away and the moment was over.
But instead, he pulled off his sweatpants and lay back down. He put both arms back behind his head, which caused the muscles in his arms and shoulders and chest to ripple.
By the time her eyes made it back to his face he was smiling, his eyes just as smoldering as they’d been a few minutes before.
“Oh,” she whispered. “We’re not done?”
“Peaches, I’ve been thinking about you and your soft skin and crystal eyes and haunted smile from the moment I laid eyes on you. Longer, it feels like.”
Something dark crossed over his face so fast she couldn’t quite decipher it. But whatever it was, he pushed it away and his smile was back.
