And it’s why I let him gently coax my lips apart, teasing my tongue with his own.
Tiernon tastes different and familiar all at once. He tastes like lost dreams and a thousand sleepless nights. He tastes like young love and bitter heartbreak.
He tastes like salt.
“Shhh.” Tiernon brushes tears from my cheeks. I sniff, hiccup, and attempt to push him away. But he doesn’t let go. “Just let me hold you, Velle. Just for a few moments more.”
I allow it. No, I do more than allow it. I take his comfort and soak in it, bask in it. Drinking his blood once more … it’s cracked open that door between us again—the one I’d wedged closed. I lean my head against his chest and breathe him in. His arms encircle me and his chin rests on my head, the position so achingly familiar, I choke on a sob.
Tomorrow, I’ll shore up my defenses once more. Today, I’ll take the comfort he offers.
But we can’t stand here all night. I’m not sure how long I allow myself to rest against him. But my sobs turn to sniffles, my sniffles turn to long, even breaths. I’m perilously close to falling asleep standing up, and Tiernon’s arms lock around me as I sway against him.
“Time for bed,” he murmurs, his voice a low growl as his chin moves against the top of my head.
I want to ask him what happened to his voice. As much as I’ve pretended not to care, I’m almost desperate to know why he sounds so different. Why he no longer sounds likemyTi.
That thought cuts through me, and I wriggle until Ti—no,Tiernon—releases me.
He’snotmy Ti any longer. My Ti would never have left me without an explanation. And he sure as hell would never have gone this long without telling me why he abandoned me.
“I need to sleep.”
He nods, releasing me. Dark blue eyes study my face, turning bleak, and then empty.
“Good night.”
He turns and walks away without another word.
Letting out a long, shaky breath, I do the same, making my way back toward the gladian barracks. It’s late enough that there’s no one else around. Late enough that I could climb into bed and pretend I’m just a woman with complicated feelings for a man.
But I’m not. I’m a gladian who was helpless today. A gladian who was forced to hope for the emperor’s thumb to turn upward. The only reason I’m alive is because Rorrik likely wants to play with me before he kills me. Wants me to squirm and scream before I meet my end.
My life hung in the balance, dependent solely on the emperor’s thumb. It all could have been over within seconds. And my brothers would have died shortly after.
Soft snores greet me as I crack open the door to our barracks. I close it behind me, my eyes adjusting to the dim light. Letting myself into the small bathing room attached to the bedroom, I take a quick shower. At least the aether stones here never run out.
I rub at the condensation on the mirror. For the first time in days, I force myself to meet my own eyes. My face is pale beneath the few freckles scattered across my nose and cheeks, the skin beneath my green eyes dark and sunken. But—
I wipe at a drop of water dripping from my hairline, and my breath catches in my throat, my hand trembling as I stare at my sigil.
I know the elegant gold mark like I know the back of my hand. I spent years staring at it in the mirror, willing it to grow. Begging for power that could make me strong. Could keep me and my brothers safe.
All I wanted was for the gold to spread. For my sigil to show some signs of growth.
And for the first time in my life, it has.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
My eyes are heavy the next morning, and I briefly consider rolling over, burying my head beneath my blankets, and skipping my training with the imperius. We’ve been given a day off from gladian training after the challenge, and my body aches.
But I know better than to test Tiernon. Vampires may not be able to enter private spaces unless invited, but I’m sure he’d send one of his sigilmarked imperiums to haul me out of bed in front of the other gladians.
I sit up in bed, finding Tolva already awake in the bunk next to me, staring into the distance with her arms wrapped around her knees.
I won’t ask what’s wrong. We’ve all got our problems, and she probably wants to be left alone—
“Another body was found last night,” she whispers. “That’s six so far. That we know of.”
