“Arvelle.” My name is half plea, half command.
“I waited for you. I waited formonths.”
Years. That’s the real truth. I waited for years.
What little color Tiernon had in his face is gone. “I’m sorry. Kassia—”
“Isaiddon’t speak her name.” My throat is suddenly so thick it hurts to speak. “She would have killed you for what you did to me.”
He stares at me for long moments, and we fall into a stiff silence. Finally, he picks up his helmet, stepping back. “I will see you here tomorrow.”
“What are you talking about?”
“This changes nothing. You’ll still be here tomorrow morning. You’ll train with the imperius.”
“No, I fucking won’t.”
He curls his lip, displaying sharp, white fangs. “You will.”
There’s noorin that sentence. I no longer know this man. I don’t know how far he’ll go to keep me in line.
All those lessons I so painstakingly taught him over the years—about how people have the freedom to make their own choices … those lessons clearly didn’t stick.
When I don’t reply, he gives me a gentle shake. “Listen to me. You have no idea how long some of these gladians have been training for this. Their families want nothing more than for their children to be close to the emperor. Close topower. They will do whatever it takes, even if it means killing you in that arena. So you don’t hesitate. You don’t show mercy.”
I attempt to shake him off, but he doesn’t relent. “I will find out why you’re here,” he promises. “But until I get you out of here, you have to stay alive.”
Despite the rasp in his voice, for the first time, he sounds like the man I knew. The man I loved.
And that hurts even more.
“Let me go.”
His hand loosens, and he thrusts it into his hair.
“Arvelle—”
“Stay away from me.” Turning, I stalk from the training hall, leaving what’s left of my heart lying dead on the ground behind me.
UNSURPRISINGLY, TIERNON DOESN’Tstay away from me. Instead, I’m forced to train with him every single day, before I meet Leon to trainwith the other gladians. Leon follows through with his threat, adding a training at night as well.
For the next week, I train three times more than everyone else. I’m still slow, my muscles constantly aching, but there’s one good thing about losing myself in physical activity. By the time I climb into my bunk each night, I’m too tired to dream.
And I have to admit … something is enjoyable about all the training, even though each time I see Tiernon’s face a wound opens up in my chest.
Focusing only on improving my sprint times and upper body strength is freeing, despite Leon’s bad attitude and my own demons.
I worry about my brothers relentlessly, but for once, I’m not forced to choose between new shoes for Gerith or aether for the lamps. I’m not forced to calculate if there’s enough bread left to get us through until my next job or if I’ll need to take a loan from a moneylender.
Instead, I’m obsessing over how I’ll kill the emperor when it’s finally time. And when I’m not doing that, I’m forced to confront the fact that Tiernon has been here for six years—just a few miles from me.
In my darkest moments, I thought he was dead. I would lie in my bed sobbing, convinced he’d never returned because he’d been murdered while leaving the Thorn, or some other calamity had occurred. And I’d never know, because he was so careful to never reveal anything about his family. I’d never pushed. Not once.
When he was in the Thorn, he was mine, and that had been enough.
“What is wrong with you today?” Leon hisses at me.
It’s the day of my first challenge. We’re sitting in the lower stands in the arena. For the first challenge we’re allowed to watch and support our fellow gladians before we step onto the sand ourselves.
