I close the door behind me. “No.”
Tiernon shoves a hand through his hair. The movement is so familiar, filled with frustration and annoyance, it feels like I’m sixteen again, arguing with him over something stupid.
“You don’t want to be here, Arvelle. You don’t want anything to do with me.”
“That’s not true.” I wish it was.
“Itistrue. You think I just decided toabandonyou on a whim.”
My heart judders, and the world suddenly sharpens.
“But you didn’t, did you? You left to protect me.”
He doesn’t say a word. He doesn’t need to. The pieces have been rattling around in my subconscious, but now they’re fitting together. The way he left me all those years ago. The way he pushed me away the moment I arrived at this place. And the way he immediately began protecting me once he learned why I was here.
Orna’s dark scowl.I’m not sure why he cares. She can’t possibly be worth everything he did for her.
“You were scared your father was going to learn you were with a sigilmarked. And not justanysigilmarked. A deficient sigilmarked from the Thorn. What would he have done to me, Tiernon? How would he have punished you?”
His face drains of color. “He would have ordered you to be turned. He would have made me do it—or made me watch whileRorrikdid it. If we were lucky, you would die immediately. If we weren’t, you would spend days slowly dying, screaming in pain, begging for someone to end you. And I would have lived the rest of my life knowing it was my fault.”
“Why?” My voice cracks. “Why leave me without any warning? Why not tell me?”
His eyes are dark and wounded. “Because I know you. And you wouldn’t have let me go. You would have fought for us for the rest of your life. You would have held out hope—useless hope—and likely would have gotten yourself killed trying to defy my father.”
“So you made me hate you.”
A sharp nod. “It wouldn’t have worked if part of you didn’t already expect it. You thought I’d leave because you expect everyone to leave. I bet some part of you was relieved to learn I was gone. You could stop waiting for me to abandon you like everyone else did. You could point to my disappearance as proof that you were right to wait so many years to give me a chance.”
I don’t speak. I can’t. It hurts to breathe. I need to get out of here, so I can lick my wounds in private. So I can sew up the scars his words have opened.
No.
I won’t run.
I can tell by the stiff way Tiernon’s holding himself that leaving is exactly what he expects me to do.
“You know the saddest part of all this?” His smile is so bleak, my eyes burn. “It’s the lack of faith you had in me. I relied on that lack of faith, even as part of me raged at you for it.”
I swallow around the lump in my throat. “Wh-what do you mean?”
He takes a step closer. “How could you possibly think I could just walk away and forget you? How could your unhinged, deluded mind ever come to that conclusion?”
My eyes burn even more, and he grips my upper arms, pulling me close.
“I was obsessed with you for years before I left. I used to sneak into your room just to watch you breathe. I waited, each day agony as I begged the gods for you to finally admit we were meant to be together.”
My heart is cracking open at his words. “And then we were together. Until your father found out. Tell me,” I whisper hoarsely. “Tell me everything.”
He releases me, stepping away. And my skin is instantly cold in the absence of his touch.
“For years, my father paid me little attention, busy molding Rorrik into the perfect heir.”
I remember. I remember Tiernon’s hurt when he was younger, and his relief as he grew up. I may not have known who his father was, but I’d always known exactly how much Tiernon hated him.
“And still, I was so, so careful to never let anyone know where I was going each time I snuck away.” Tiernon lets out a bitter laugh. “He’d decided to have me followed, but I was always good at disappearing intothe Thorn—you taught me how. The guard he sent to follow me never discovered my destination. Hedidsee me go into the Thorn though. Twice. And he heard rumors I was with a sigilmarked. The night before your third fight in the Sands, my father had me arrested and brought to his dungeon. He … he kept me there for weeks. And when he finally set me free, he told me if I ever stepped foot in Fog’s Edge again, he would have his people find my little sigilmarked friend.”
Tiernon’s eyes turn bleak. “If you had been a mundane, it would have been an embarrassment, easily punished and hidden.”
