“Okay,” I finally said, my stomach fluttering like there was something alive in my gut. “Let’s do it.”
She placed her knife back on the counter, wiped her hands on a towel and sat back down across from me.
“Your natural instinct will be to push me out,” she said. “Try to avoid that until I’ve had time to examine the suppression spell.”
I’m good at many things. Allowing people close when I’m vulnerable is not one of them. But if I wanted the information, I needed to suck it up.
I nodded. Then I took a deep breath and slowly dropped my shields, gritting my teeth as Selina gently inched her power beyond them. She was respectful, but I still had to tamp down the urge to slam my shields shut and run. Only the knowledge that I’d hurt the witch kept me from doing exactly that.
“I see what you mean,” she said. “The spell is here, but it seems… ragged around the edges.”
“Why can’t I see it myself?”
“That would be part of the spell’s function. In the witch community, this type of spell was originally created to block the most evil witches amongst us from accessing their powers. If they could see it, they would spend the rest of their lives attempting to undo it.”
Made sense. I’d only just learned about the spell and I already felt a sense of claustrophobia, knowing there was something inside me blocking me from accessing such an important part of myself. It was ironic— I’d spent most of my life hating that I was a witch and refusing to use my power. Now, here I was trusting a witch to help me access more of it.
Panic began to rise up. Between the suppression spell and the demon bond, I felt like I was lost, not myself. With my shields down, I could feel Samael’s masculine energy at the end of that bond, and the thought made my chest tighten.
“You’re okay, Danica,” the witch said gently. “Just relax and give me one more moment.”
I blew out a breath and forced myself to calm down. An excruciatingly long minute later, Selina withdrew.
I let out a long, slow breath. “Well?”
“It’s definitely frayed. When a suppression spell is placed on a witch who has been sentenced by the High Coven, that spell includes regular… updates. That prevents the spell from decaying. Your power naturally wants to break free, and it’s been pushing at the spell for all these years, fighting to be released. Whoever placed the spell left you just enough power for basic tasks, and while that was kind of them, it also left a kind of ‘back door’ within the spell. That back door is cracked a few inches so you can use a sliver of your power. Now, your power is likely pushing at that back door in an attempt to widen it.”
I frowned at that visual but nodded. “I… created a ward yesterday. I’d never done it before— didn’t know I could. It was so strong. My magic was… beautiful.” I blinked back tears, mortified, but Selina reached for my hand.
“Itisbeautiful. And it’s tired of being restrained. When you finally break free of the spell, you will be a force to be reckoned with.”
“How do I break it?”
“Unfortunately I have no experience breaking these kinds of spells, and while I could try, I wouldn’t want to risk doing damage. You could go to the High Coven and ask for them to examine it…” she shook her head.
I frowned at her. “What?”
Her hand squeezed mine. “Your magic isn’t entirely witch magic.”
I frowned at her. “I’ve always assumed my father was a human or a low-level mage at best.”
“No. A low-level mage couldn’t access this power, and their magic is much different— borrowed from the demigods.” She scowled, and I opened my mouth to ask exactly what she meant but she was still talking.
“Your magic is different. If I had to guess, I would say dark fae or demon.”
My mom had a dark fae friend when we were young. I remember him coming around while they talked in hushed voices. I’d never met a high fae from the dark court myself, but I remember the way my mom looked at him. Her eyes had said he was the moon and all the stars. For the life of me, I couldn’t remember if he’d looked back at her the same way.
Selina reached out and squeezed my hand at my silence. “Do you have any siblings?”
And the hits just kept on coming. I swallowed around the sudden lump in my throat. “I have a sister. We have different fathers. Neither of us have met them.” Thanks Mom.
Selina nodded. “If the High Coven were to discover your power, it likely wouldn’t end well for you.”
She was right. The High Coven were a bunch of bigots who believed witch blood should remain pure. Since witch power traveled down the maternal line, they allowed matches with humans, but they saw anyone with mixed blood as a threat. I may not be able to access my fae power now, but that made me a target and they’d strike while I was vulnerable. I went very still. Was that why Mom had run with me? A headache began to throb above my left temple and Selina patted my hand. “I believe the spell is close to crumbling.”
“How do I make it crumble faster?”
“Embrace your power. Even the parts that scare you.”
