The front door rattles and I breathe a sigh of relief. Nathan’s home. He was a rock for me when the accident first hit the news, and I need him to be that for me now.
“Nathan?” I call out, hearing the thud of his bag dropping to the floor. “I—”
“Of course, I’m in,” he says excitedly to someone that isn’t me, his voice getting louder as he approaches. “Just let me shower and I’ll be there.”
He hangs up as he reaches me, pressing a kiss to my cheek. “Hey, babe. I’m glad you’re home.” Without registering my stunned expression, he moves around me to the fridge and rummages through the contents. “The guys are all heading toReggie’s place”—his captain—“for a bonding session. We’ve got our biggest rivals this weekend, so they want to talk strategy.”
“Don’t the coaches help with that?”
“Usually, yeah.” His head pops out from behind the door and he smiles. “But Reg has been playing for twelve years; he knows his stuff.”
“Are you going to be late? I wanted to ta—”
“Nah. I’ll be home by nine thirty. I need my beauty sleep ahead of practice.”
“Okay. Do you have a min—”
His phone blares in his hand, cutting me off as his laughter fills the air. “These guys are way more full on than the Florida boys, but they’re a good bunch.”
He grabs an apple and brushes past me again, answering his phone as he heads down the hall. “Let me guess,” he says to whoever’s on the line. “You need a ride.”
There’s a beat of silence before he chuckles. “Of course,” he continues. “I’m always here if you need me.”
I choke back a laugh as my stomach sinks.Are you sure about that, Nathan?Because right now, I don’t think I’ve needed you more.
For the next couple of weeks, Zane’s parents call every other day to talk to me about the press hounding them. They’ve had calls, people showing up at their house, their workplaces.
It’s a lot, and I hate that I’m here when I should be there comforting them. I don’t even know why I’m here. Nathan’s spent more time away than at home lately and I’m more alone than I’ve ever felt in my life. I understand he has commitments and away games. But even when he’s here, he’s never really here.
I need him to be present. Absence isnotmaking my heart grow fonder, and I don’t think he realizes the damage he’s doing.
I’m questioning everything and don’t know what to do anymore. Or who to talk to.
When I find another missed call from Zane’s mom, my heart breaks. Zane’s shielded expression from when he told me they hadn’t spoken in a while comes back to mind, and my sadness is crushing. They’ve all been through so much. I can’t imagine walking in their shoes. Being an outsider is difficult enough.
I’m at a breaking point when my dad calls Thursday night, but like always, I keep the smile on my face as we talk, not wanting to worry him.
“You’d tell me if it was getting to be too much for you, right?” he asks, referring to the increased media attention surrounding the accident. I smile, genuinely this time. I may not be able to see Dad, but I can picture the concerned look he’s undoubtedly giving me. “You know, I’ll be on the first flight out of here.”
“I do. Thanks, Dad. But I’m fine. I feel awful for everyone else involved.”
“Is Nathan there? Is he helping you?”
“Of course,” I lie, hoping the slight lift in my voice doesn’t give me away, as longing works its way into my chest. “I’m lucky to have him.” At least I was. Now I’m not so sure.
“Mm-hmm.” Dad grumbles, his skepticism rivaling Cade’s.
“Dad,” I scold jokingly, but it’s not lost on me that he’s not far off base with his reaction this time.
“I know, Princess. You can look after yourself.”
“I can and I will. I’ll talk to you on Sunday, okay?”
“Wouldn’t miss it. Love you.”
He hangs up and the happiness instantly drops from my face. It’s just one thing after another. I still don’t have a job, Zane’s parents are looking to me to solve all their problems, and Nathan’s MIA.
I don’t bother checking the time when I fall into bed on my own—once again left waiting for Nathan to get home—but I’m half asleep when he softly shakes me awake.
