“That’s a start. Where are you moving?”
I hesitate before answering, not wanting to admit that while I’ll be in LA and he’s in San Francisco, we’ll still be in the same state. Too close for comfort. “It doesn’t matter. But I won’t be here.”
“How does your brother feel about that?”
“Why don’t you ask him?”
“I don’t plan on seeing him again,” he mumbles under his breath and I gasp, though I shouldn’t be surprised.
“Isn’t that his truck?” I ask nonchalantly, refusing to show him how affected I am.
“Yep.” He pops thep. “I’m going to leave it at the hospital. I was planning on dropping the keys at reception. You’ve saved me a phone call. You can tell him they’re there.”
“So that’s it? You’re going to disappear again?” My chest aches as a pit forms in my stomach, but I refuse to acknowledge what that means.
“Why would I stay?” His eyes bore into mine, begging me to say “me” but I can’t do it.
“Your parents?” I say instead, despite knowing the answer. They’ve been calling me since he left, because he never answers their calls.
“My parents?” He scoffs. “I bet they’dlovethat.”
“What does that mean?” I question, my brows drawing together. They would love that. I never considered that when he walked away from me, he’d walk away from them too. But that’s what he did. He left and never looked back.
I wait for his anger, but his expression drops. “It doesn’t matter. We haven’t really spoken in a while.”
Tightness fills my chest but I fight to ignore it. And before I can respond, a car drives past, and the headlights make me blink, the brightness working to clear my mind. “Shit,” I whisper under my breath. The last thing I need is for one of Nathan’s friends to see me out here and tell him about Zane, making it out to be worse than it is. “I gave you a minute and it’s been a hell of a lot longer.”
“Yeah, well, you’ve never been great at time management.”
I smile, but it doesn’t quite meet my eyes. “I better—”
“Wait. Before you make me leave, I need to know… Are you happy?”
Dammit.I blow out a slow breath, buying myself some time while I gather my thoughts. Am I happy? Yes. Mostly. I love Nathan, and things are good between us. But could I be happierin another life? Unfortunately, that’s also a yes. Though I don’t deserve it.
“I’m as happy as I can be.” I pause as numbness pervades me. I used to strive for greatness and now I’m ashappy as I can be? God.How did it get to this?
Zane’s nostrils flare, but before he can respond, I throw the question back at him, trying hard not to think about the magazine articles, the photos, the TV show… “Areyouhappy, Zane?”
He huffs as his lips quirk into a forced smile, undoubtedly wanting me to believe that it’s real. But I know him better than that. “I am,” he lies through his teeth. “Other than this minor hiccup.” He lifts his tee to show me his bandage. “I’m living the dream.”
“That’s great, Zane.” I force a smile of my own. “I always hoped you’d be happy.”
“Thanks. Right back at you, B. Always.”
Our fake smiles outshine each other until we fall silent, and I swear my heart’s going to pound right out of my chest.
Needing a reprieve, I blow out a breath and say my goodbyes. “I better go back in. But for what it’s worth, it was good seeing you again.”
“You too, B. You too.”
For the briefest moment, Zane’s smile turns genuine and I lose my breath. I almost tell him I’m sorry, until he turns around and jogs down the steps, only looking back when he’s reached Cade’s truck, giving me a wave that I fear may never leave me.
Less than a minute later, he’s gone.
My expression blank, I shut the door and nod to myself.I’m fine.I’m… My throat tightens and I barely manage a step before emotion overwhelms me and I fall to the floor, choking back tears.
I’m fine.So, why is it still so hard?
