CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
Zane
Something feels different on our drive home, almost as if there’s a fresh energy hovering in the air, and I’ve got to admit, it brings me hope.
If Lucy’s visit today helped seal the deal with Blair, I’ll forever be grateful for her and Wes. They may not know it, but securing a job is the first step toward Blair finding herself again, and God, she deserves the break.
“If you didn’t talk about the job, what did you and Lucy talk about?” I ask, curiosity getting the better of me.
Out of the corner of my eye, I note Blair’s lips curling into a grin before she giggles softly. “You?”
“Me?” I point to myself, feigning shock. “She knows who I am?”
“Nope. She had no idea until I told her.” I throw a suspicious gaze at Blair and she fakes a sympathetic frown. “Does that break your heart?”
I will never get tired of her playful side. Ever. And I love playing along. “It does.” I pout. “I thought everyone knew me.”
We pull up in front of my building, and I switch off the ignition, jumping out of the car before Blair’s had a chance to respond, running around to open her door.
There’s a spark in her eyes. A radiance about her. Just the hint of her gleeful smile lights up the room, and I haven’t seen her this free since she was a teenager.
I watch her quietly as we head up to my apartment, her expression giddy as she fills me in on her chat with Lucy and the way Wes challenged her football knowledge.
She turns to face me when we reach my door, her breathtaking smile so illuminating that my heart clenches.
What the fuck am I going to do if this doesn’t work out?
What if Blair has all this time to think, then decides her life would be better off without me?
My ears ring as I unlock the door, and when Blair steps through, her brows furrow as she studies my face. “What happened?”
“What?”
“You were all smirks and happiness and now it’s gone.”
My shoulders drop as I blow out a breath. I promised honesty and I at least owe her that. I’m refusing to acknowledge how much more I owe her, how much I stole from her and my sister, with one stupid decision.
“I’m terrified I’m going to lose you again. Because if I’m being honest, you deserve better.” I turn away to shut the door, slowly taking off my shoes before facing her again. Anything to delay the pitied look I have no doubt will be marring her features.
She says seeing me again has been hard, and I’m sure she thinks I’m not struggling like she is, but I am. I’ve just been living in denial. Only the more time I spend with her, the more it comes to the surface.
I don’t deserve a second chance. One day she’s going to wake up and realize that.
The air’s thick when I finally glance her way, but instead of finding her sympathetic expression, she’s mad.
Hand on her hips, brows raised high on her forehead, her lips are thinned. “No. You don’t get to do that. You’re the confident one. You’re the one that’s steadfast in our relationship. I deserve what Iwant. And what I want isyou.”
“What?” I inhale sharply, my heart now pounding heavily in my chest.
Blair’s stance relaxes as she watches me, and after a beat, she lets out a breathy laugh. “I want you, Zane. We have a lot to work through but—”
I don’t let her finish before I’m locking my arms around her waist and lifting her into the air, spinning her around.
“What would the guys say if they saw you like this?” She giggles.
“I don’t care what they think about me. But I’d happily take a swing at any of them, if they made you feel anything other than amazing.”
Blair grabs my face when I drop her to her feet, her expression soft and caring. “After all these years, you still surprise me with your tenderness.”
