“When?” She squints, challenging me.
“When you were deciding which college to attend—ours or NYU. After an extensive pros and cons list which I remember took days, you opted to follow me and Cade.”
“I wasn’t following you. It had a great English program and…” She trails off when I smirk. “You’re an ass. You knew that too, didn’t you?”
“Of course. I’m the one that told you about the fellowship they offered.” Tears prick Blair’s eyes and my stomach sinks. “Fuck, I’m sorry.”
“No.” She shakes her head frantically. “Don’t be sorry. I’d forgotten how good you were to me. For me. Actually no, I didn’t forget. I pushed it from my mind.”
“B. You—”
“What’s number two?” She changes the subject, wiping her eyes as she smiles.
I pause, running through a quick pros and cons list of my own, deciding how to proceed. I should encourage her to talk about her feelings, but at the same time, she let me move on when I couldn’t say my sister’s name, so she deserves the same respect.
“When you were deciding whether or not to hook up with me.”
Heat creeps up Blair’s neck, dusting her cheeks in a beautiful pink glow, and I know I’ve got her. “Please tell me you didn’t see that list.”
I raise a brow, teasing, but quickly shake my head. “I didn’t. But God, I wish I had. I’ve always been curious as to how close it was between the yeses and nos.”
“The yes won by a point.” She stares at me deadpan and I burst out laughing.
“Sounds right. So… Do you believe me now, that I know how big of a deal this is?”
“Yes.”
“Good. Want to write a list together?”
“What?” She giggles and the sound makes my heart thrash against my ribs. Fuck, I crave her. But right now, she feels like sin, and while I’m ready to get burned, I don’t think she’s ready for the fire. To prove my point, her gaze narrows in intrigue. She’s considering my offer.
“You want to write a pros and cons list together? To determine what exactly?”
“Whether or not you’re ready to move on with me.”
“Are you?” she counters, her expression stoic as she challenges me. And fuck if it doesn’t make my chest tighten.
“Am I what?” I ask, though I think I know the answer. She wants to know if I am ready to move on from our past.
“Are you ready to start over?”
It’s a valid question, and until she voiced it, I was certain I knew the answer. But it’s more complicated than that. “Maybe the list can be for both of us.”
Blair smiles, the brightness of it warming me. “I think that sounds perfect.” She grabs my hand, dragging me down the hall toward her bedroom. “I have pens and highlighters in here.”
“Highlighters?”Fuck, what did I get myself into?“Can’t we just write it in the notes app on my phone?”
Blair stops in her tracks and spins to glare at me. “I thought you knew me, Zane. Does that sound like something I would do?”
“No, but I was kind of hoping we’d take a little bit of you and add a little bit of me. I like to keep things simple.”
“Hmmm.” She purses her lips and I smile when it appears she’s actually considering my request, until… “Nope. We need highlighters.”
“You’re lucky I love you, Little B. Because—”
“What?” Her face pales, making me chuckle.
“It’s a figure of speech, Blair. You’ll know when I say it for real. Trust me.”
