“Just do it, B.Please.”
“Fine.”
“Thank you.” His eyes light up with relief. “Look after yourself, yeah?”
“I will.”
I think he whispers ‘thanks,’ but I’m already on my way to find Sierra, grabbing another red cup of beer when I pass by the drinks.
I’m determined not to look at Zane, but at the last second, I glance back, finding another girl already in my place, her arms draped over his shoulder, her body pressed against him.
And instead of hating him for it, like I should, my chest aches for him.
Because I really wish that could be me.
And maybe, someday it will be. God knows, we both deserve to be happy.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
BLAIR
PRESENT DAY
“It wasn’t you, B. It was all fucking me.” Zane’s voice breaks and all I can do is stare at him while my head plays catch-up with our conversation. A tightness fills my chest, and I struggle to take in air. After seven years, I finally admitted to the guilt I’m carrying, and now he’s spinning me a different story.
I shift uncomfortably, our conversation wreaking havoc on my heart, while at the same time, a weight has been lifted at finally getting my feelings off my chest.
But I’m so confused.
“Zane, I—”
“I wish I’d known how bad it was for you. Or how much you were carrying. Hell, I wish I’d taken a moment to pull my head out of my ass before walking away.”
“That’s hardly what happened, Zane. You were broken. We both were. You’d just lost your sister and—”
“I should have protected you!”
“From what?”
“Yourself. I know you. I used to think I knew you better than anyone else. I should have realized you were going to take this on. That you were going to carry some of the burden.”
“I should have taken it all. There’s no point in both of us carrying it around.”
“B.” Zane cocks his head, his expression pointed. “You know it’s not that easy.”
“Make it easy. It was an accident, but if I hadn’t begged you to come and get me…”
“Stop. Please. Nothing you can say will make me blame you. Ever.”
The intensity of his gaze makes me squirm as I fight back my tears. I’ve been holding my truth so close to my chest that it’s hard to let go of. But with Zane’s reassurance, I want to. He’s always had that effect on me. Always been able to make me see the best in myself.
Zane glances away, lost in thought, and when he looks back, his expression breaks me. “Fuuck.” He shakes his head, schooling his features. “It’s amazing how much I can remember of that night considering how drunk I was. I hate it.”
“Same.” I force a smile at the irony. “It’s like a movie got stuck on repeat in my mind. One I can’t forget.”
“I hate those movies; they’re always the bad ones.”
“The horrors.” I huff out a laugh though it’s anything but funny.
