But I bet he never considered it would end in goodbye.
Although, technically we never actually said that.
Maybe it’ll all be okay.
It’s not okay.I’mnot okay. It turns out that not being with Zane is ten times worse than being his dirty little secret, and I almost wish I could take it all back.
Almost.
The part of me that knows I’m doing the right thing is thankfully stronger than my heart but God, it hurts.
The movie I’m watching ends, and I mindlessly flick through the options on the TV trying to find another one. Not that I need it; I have no clue what the last one was about.
I’ve pretty much been sulking on the couch since I was able to get out of bed, and I’m content to stay here until school goes back in a few days.
After another ten minutes of scrolling, I settle on a comedy and find myself actually paying attention until Sierra appears in front of me, blocking my view.
“Come on.” She grabs my hand, attempting to pull me to my feet. “We’re going out.”
“Where?” I groan and even I can hear how whiny I sound.
“We’re party hopping. It’s the last weekend of spring break, and we deserve some fun.”
“I’m not in the mood for fun.”
“I know. But I can’t take you moping over my brother anymore.”
“Shhh. Someone might hear you.” Sierra is the only person I’ve talked to about Zane. I knew early on that it would be impossible to keep it from her. But I never told Zane that she knew. And I’m glad that I didn’t. He’d hate his sister sympathizing with him.
“No one else is here.” Sierra rolls her eyes. “Come on. Get up and get dressed into something you wouldn’t be embarrassed to leave the house in.” Her eyes drop to my ripped sweatpants and stained band T-shirt. “I’ll do your hair and makeup whileyou snap out of this funk. It’s gone on too long.” She waves her hand in front of my face. “We’re going out.”
“Do I have to?”
“Yep. Look at me. I’m already styled to perfection. I refuse to let it go to waste.”
“Okay. Sure.” I fake a bout of enthusiasm. “Let’s do this.”
***
Just like Sierra suggested, we party hop around Ponte Vedra—where all the wealthy kids fight to throw the best spring break parties—and I’m significantly buzzed by the time we get to the third.
Not that it takes much alcohol to get me drunk. I’m not usually a drinker. But today, I am letting loose and trying to enjoy myself.Tryingbeing the operative word.
“Who’s here that we know?” I ask Sierra as I stumble up the steps, giggling at my clumsiness.
“I think Lily and Bryce are here”—a couple we know from school— “as well as the guys from the lacrosse team.”
“Which means that Jaxon is here?” I smile knowingly. Sierra and Jaxon were flirting for the majority of Zane’s party. “I wholeheartedly believe you’d make an adorable couple.”
“Shh. Jesus. We haven’t even kissed.”
“What?”
“You don’t even realize you said that out loud, do you?”
I wince, shaking my head no.
“God, that brother of mine really messed you up.”
