“Shewasn’tdrinking,” I say, my body numb, the last seven years of pain suffocating me from the inside.
“She’d still be alive…”
“Shewasn’t drinking!” I repeat, louder this time, my voice ragged as I draw in a breath.I did this.I always knew Blair’s pain was my fault, but I never knew the severity of it all. How badly I’d fucked up. “Shewasn’tdrinking, Blair!”
“It’s my fault you left and— What?” Blair’s eyes dart to mine, my words finally sinking in. “No, I saw her.”
“If you saw her, then you saw her haveonedrink. That’s all she had. She told me on the way that she’d only had one. I never would have let her drive otherwise.”
“She lied to you, Zane.” Blair scoffs incredulously. “Of course she lied, she—”
“There was barely any alcohol in her system.”
“What?”
“The coroner confirmed her blood alcohol level was low. Not that I needed him to. I knew. She was of sound mind.”Not that my parents saw it that way.
“But then why?” Blair squints before jamming her palms into her eyes. “No, no, no, no. I did it. It was my fault. My fault she died, my fault you left. It wasme.”
A deep ache burns in my chest. If I wasn’t fighting so hard to hold my shit together, I’d undoubtedly have tears in my eyes. For her. BecauseIdid this. I broke her.
“It was never you, Blair.Never.”
Blair continues to shake her head but removes her hands, setting her shattered gaze on mine. “I thought you knew,” I whisper as everything I remember of that night plays through my mind.
Having her staring at me makes my next words that much harder to say, but I swallow the emotion in my throat and push on through.
“Iwas the drunk one, B. It was allme.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Zane
AGE NINETEEN
“Hap-py Birth-day toooo yooouuu.”
I roll my eyes as the cheers ring out. I told them under no circumstances were they allowed to sing, but my so-called friends just finished not one, but two drunken renditions of the happy birthday song. And there’s a fucking cake.
Kill me now.
“Come on, Zane.” Cade slaps my back before wrapping his arm around my shoulder. “Cheer up. It’s your birthday.”
“I thought it was, and yet, I asked for none of these theatrics and here we are.”
“It’s tradition. Don’t be so sour. Your friends want to celebrate and shower you with attention.”
“No, they don’t. Like you, they want to piss me off.”
“True. And it worked.” He turns to our friends, all staring my way. “He hated every second. We did it.” The cheers get louder, and I groan until my eyes lock with Blair’s, her sympathetic smile bringing about my own.
The cake’s placed in front of me as she gestures toward the yard, biting her lip. And while this could very much be another twisted ploy from her brother, I quickly blow out my candles, following after her while my friends are distracted with food.
“Please tell me you weren’t a part of that?” I ask when I find her outside, a suspicious smile gracing her lips.
“I’ll never tell.”
“Come here.”
