“You want to see my cock?” I balk. “You want to see if I’ve got a piercing?”
“I do. Very much so.”
Fuck. If I didn’t know how tipsy she was, and that she was likely using this as a deflection, it would be a major turn-on. But even my cock realizes it’s not going to happen. It doesn’t so much as twitch when she nibbles her lip in anticipation.
“Maybe another time. For now, you need to sleep.”
“Ugh. I don’t need sleep.” She yawns, making me chuckle. “If we’d have slept together back then, I’d know the truth, so why can’t I know now?”
I bite back another laugh and sit down on the end of the bed, reaching forward to pat her leg. My poor, beautiful, mixed-up Little B. “I didn’t have it back then, so you wouldn’t have known if I had it now.”
“What you’re saying is no? You’re not going to show me.” She pouts and I bite my lip to stop myself from laughing again.
“Not tonight.” I stand up and bop her on the nose. “I’ll be back.”
Without waiting for a response, I jog out of the room and tiptoe through the apartment, grabbing a glass of water and rummaging around until I’ve located a Tylenol. I half expect Blair to be asleep when I return, but she’s sitting up, her expression unreadable.
“Here.” I give her the water and place the Tylenol on the nightstand. “Drink up and then it’s time to lie down.”
Surprisingly doing as asked, Blair quietly gulps back the water, handing me the empty glass. But before I can move, she grabs my wrist.
“Don’t go. Please.”
“I won’t. I’ll just be down the hall.”
“No, I mean, don’t leave me. Not yet.”
I nod and Blair falls silent for a beat, running her hands down her face as the energy between us completely changes. “There’s something I have to tell you.” She pauses as tears coat her eyes. “But I’m terrified you’ll leave.”
My body tenses, the muscles straining as I visually appraise her. She forces a smile and I immediately sit beside her, putting her water glass down before grabbing her hand. “Why would I leave?” My voice cracks from the emotion pouring out of her, and when she lets go of my hand, I panic.
“It was all my fault.”
“What was?”
My heart aches for her, but when the first tear glides down her cheek, dread shreds me from the inside.
“The night of the accident, I’d been drinking like this.” She pauses and I freeze. I knew she wanted to talk, but now that it’s happening, I feel nauseous. “I was broken and numb and I wasn’t thinking clearly. I did some things… It doesn’t matter, but I shouldn’t have called you.” She frantically wipes her eyes, her breathing rapid as she sniffs.
I rush to comfort her, the pain in my chest unbearable as I watch her break. “Blair, there is no situation, no universe, where I wouldn’t want you to call me. No matter what.”
“But it’s my fault. If I hadn’t called you, you never would have gotten in your truck. You never would have been on that road. That’s why Sierradied. Because ofme.”
Fuck. My heart cracks as a wave of guilt makes it difficult to breathe. “No, Blair. It’s not—”
“Wait, there’s more… I’m the reason she was drinking, Zane. After you… No… Because we ended things, I started drinking at the first party. And I made Sierra come and drink with me. Told her I needed to drown my sorrows because of her stupid brother. She knew, you know? She knew the whole time. I couldn’t hide it.”
“I know,” I rasp, unable to say much more as my beautiful girl shatters in front of me.
The last time Blair and I spoke, before I left Jacksonville, before I ran away, I’d reluctantly agreed that we were both to blame, that we’d both played a part in the events of that night. I knew it was wrong, but I was so fucked up over what had happened that I couldn’t make much sense of anything. All I knew was that Blair was begging me. And I couldn’t say no to her.
I knew my sister had one drink, but I never knew it was Blair that gave it to her. Either way, that’s not what caused the accident. I took the blame for the alcohol in her system, and never mentioned it to Blair. Now it appears Blair omitted some of the details herself. Shenevertold me she thought my sister had been drunk.
Not once.
“All this time, you thought it was you? I thought you were taking responsibility because you’d called me. If I’d known you were carrying that much—”
“If she wasn’t drinking, the accident never would have happened…”
