I sound like a fucking fifteen-year-old boy again, trying to fucking form a sentence after Sierra Barrett gave me my first hand job, right at the very lodge we're on our way to.
So much for military precision.
"Right. Because my clothes are currently living their best life somewhere between here and Boston." She flips open her bag and rummages through the contents. "I've got my laptop, three pairs of thigh-high fuzzy socks because priorities, and a spare pair of underwear for emergencies—though this wasn't exactly the emergency I had in mind. A water bottle covered in Taylor Swift lyrics, four different kinds of lip gloss, a Marty MooseNational Lampoon’s Vacationornament, Nick's birthday present which is NOT breaking in transit, thankyouverymuch, my emergency supply of Red Bull, my entire stash of Ring Pops because adulting is hard, my collection of motivational sticky notes—seriously, don't judge—and… that's—looks like that’s it. Nope, I lied. My glasses."
She draws the Ring Pop into her mouth before popping it back out with an obscene little smack and grins up at me. "So about that shirt…"
I grab my lucky flannel—the one piece of clothing that's seen me through three deployments—and watch her bounce on the balls of her perfectly arched feet all the way into the bathroom, taking every last ounce of my peace of mind with her. Nick's the son of a bitch who set this in motion, and he's going to pay for it.
The sisters weren't on our radar. At all. That was the bro code.
Me
The Pappy is on you until I'm dead.
Nick
What if I die first?
Me
You better have made arrangements in the will to cover however many I suck down my gullet until I'm dead.
Nick
Talked to Charlie. Understand now the emoji bombs you dropped. Thanks for that asshole. Why don't you just kick me in the balls for fuck's sake.
Kick him in the balls, huh… welp, he asked for it.
Me
Your wish is my command fucker. Did you know Holly's luggage is MIA?
Nick
It's late... you wanna get to the point?
Me
She's wearing my shirt to bed
Nick
That’s full-on porn for women, like gray sweatpants. Don't even fucking joke about that.
Me
Dude, porn is full-on porn for women. Get with the times. The shirt is like a fucking diamond. At least mine is. Now back to that porn… I wonder how flexible she is
Nick
I will end you. Slowly.
Me
Don't worry, my dude. I'll take good care of her
Nick
