"Because I can't take it anymore." The words come out rough, honest. "Because I've wanted you for three months and you're here and I'm done pretending I have any control left."
"Ivan—"
"Tell me to stop. If you don't want this, tell me right now, and I'll walk away, maybe."
She looks at me for a long moment. I can see the war in her eyes—fear and desire, sense and wanting, all of it tangled together.
"I don't know," she whispers finally. "I don't know what I want."
"Yes, you do." I lean closer, my other hand coming up to frame her face. "You've known since you drew that first sketch. Since you marked those pages. Since you lied to Dmitri's men for me."
"That's not fair."
"Nothing about this is fair. But it's real." My thumb brushes her cheek. "And you want every last ounce of it."
"How do you know?"
"Because I feel the same way."
"Ivan—"
"Tell me you don't feel it. Tell me you don't lie awake thinking about this. About me. About all the ways you want me to touch you."
Her breathing is ragged now. "I can't."
"Can't what?"
"Can't tell you that. Because it would be a lie." She closes her eyes. "I think about it constantly. About you. About this.And I hate myself for it because I should be scared. Should want to escape. Should want to be normal."
"Fuck normal." I tilt her face up. "Look at me."
She opens her eyes.
"You're not normal. You never were." My voice drops. "And I'm grateful for it. Normal wouldn't want me. Normal wouldn't be sitting here soaking wet and trying to pretend she doesn't want me to kiss her."
"I don't—" But the protest dies on her lips.
"Still lying to yourself?"
"Yes. No. I don't know." She sighs. "This is crazy."
"Most good things are."
"You keep saying that."
"It's true." I lean closer, my lips hovering above hers. "Last chance. Tell me to stop."
She's trembling now. "I should."
"But you won't."
"No." Her hands come up and fist in my hair.
"Finally." I close the distance between us. "You're speaking my language now."
I crash my mouth to hers.
Her lips are soft, uncertain at first, then hungry as she kisses me back.
