"They don't give returns on those kinds of items, Santino. For obvious reasons."
His expression is priceless—somewhere between horror and trying to be open-minded. "Liana—"
"What? You said you wanted to try new things." I climb out of the pool, water streaming off me. "Or did I say that? I think it was me, not you. Anyway, let me go get the suitcase. This is a good time to start using them."
"Wait—" But I'm already walking toward the villa.
I grab an empty designer suitcase from the closet and drag it dramatically through the villa, making sure it sounds heavy. When I get back to the pool, Santino is standing there looking like a man preparing for battle.
"Liana, listen. We should talk about this—"
"Talk about what?" I set the suitcase down with a thud.
"If you want to... experiment... we can discuss it like adults. Set boundaries. Safe words. But the strap-on thing—" He runs a hand through his hair. "Fuck, I'm trying to be supportive here but goddamn—"
I can't hold it in anymore and burst out laughing. "Santino. It's empty."
"What?"
I flip open the suitcase. Completely empty. "I was messing with you! There was never a suitcase of sex toys! Your big dick is enough for me, baby."
His face quickly goes from panic to relief. "You're evil."
"You should have seen your face!" I'm doubled over laughing. "You looked like I was about to do something outrageous to you!"
He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "I thought I was being a supportive husband."
"You thought I was going to use a glittery pink strap-on! On you!"
"Not funny, Liana."
"Extremely funny." I'm still giggling.
His phone starts ringing from inside the villa. We both ignore it. It stops. Then starts again immediately.
"That's probably important," I say without much conviction.
"Don't care." His hands tighten on my hips.
The phone stops. Starts again for a third time.
"That's definitely Bruno," Santino says with a sigh. "He knows I'm on my honeymoon. He wouldn't call unless—"
"Unless it's actually important," I finish. "You should probably answer it."
"I should probably throw it off the cliff."
But he's already lifting me out of the pool, water streaming off both of us as we pad naked into the villa. His phone is buzzing angrily on the bedroom nightstand.
Santino reaches for it.
I get there first. "Hello?" I answer, still dripping wet and completely naked.
There's a shocked silence on the other end.
"Uh," Bruno's voice finally comes through. "Is this—Liana?"
"Hi Bruno." I can't keep the amusement out of my voice. "What other woman would be answering Santino’s phone? How are things?"
