She shrugs her shoulders. “I guess…He thinks we should split our time with Amari instead of doing it together.”
My jaw clenches along with my fists. “Fuck that and fuck him,” I say in a stern voice. She jumps from my reaction, shocked at how upset I’m getting. How else did she think I was going to take this? If me and B end up together or not, there is no way in hell I’m splitting holidays. “That’s a load of bullshit,especially coming from someone who has no kids. I can’t believe this, B. Is this why you didn’t want to go together to drop Amari off on her first day of school?”
She nods as tears stream down her face. “It’s been killing me ever since. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to please everyone.” Her face is turning bright red from tears. I walk over to her and wrap her in my arms. “I feel like such a bitch. Then, I didn’t invite you to Bryn’s birthday, and you guys showed up anyway. That hurt me so much, knowing that you knew I didn’t invite you,” she says, sobbing into my chest.
“Is this someone you really want to spend the rest of your life with? Someone who is willing to tear us apart?” She always made sure we co-parent the best we could for our daughter. We did one hell of a job with it, considering the past. No fucker is going to come in here and take that from us. I won’t let them, and I sure as hope B doesn’t either.
Silence fills the air after asking her that question. She always goes silent when bringing up Liam. Is she having doubts?
I can’t stand to see Blakely cry. After all the times I had made her cry when we were younger, I never wanted to be the reason she cried again. Does she remember all the times I’ve comforted her when she was sad? I’ve been there for her throughout the years, even when we weren’t together. Even when it wasn’t about our daughter. Every time another douchebag let her down, I was always there to help her see she deserved better. Even when she cried while watching Amari grow up, and at all her school graduations, I was always there, comforting her. Sometimes it seems as if she doesn’t remember. Or maybe it doesn’t matter to her?
She silently sobs against my chest. I reach down, grab her by the waist, and set her on the counter. She doesn’t resist. Her eyes lock with mine as she bites her bottom lip. God, why does she do that? She makes it so hard for me not to tear her clothes off andhave my way with her. Her eyes travel down my body with so much lust. Does she feel the same way I do? The longing in her eyes tells me she does, but her actions don’t.
I lean my forehead against hers. So close that our lips almost touch. Her breath grows heavier, her chest rising and falling with each breath. The warmth of our breaths lingers around us, causing tension between us. The lust radiates through the air, intensifying the longing between us and making every second feel so raw.
“B.” I hesitate for a moment. “Give us another chance. I was your first with everything. Let me be your last.”
“Kai,” she says my name in a soft, intimate voice. “I can’t do this.”
I lift my head off hers. “Do what?”
“This,” she says, waving her hands around us. “I’m not this kind of person. I can’t be like this with you.”
I slide my hands down to her knees, spreading her legs as I step in between them. “You don’t stop me.” It’s been far too long since we’ve been this close, and the heat of my desire for her only grows stronger. Every inch of me aches to be inside of her. I know she feels it, too. The lust in her eyes when she looks at me is undeniable. Her gaze lingers on me, as hungry for me as I am for her. The way she bites her tongue, teasing me. Makes it harder to resist her.
She leans her body back as tears stream down her face and she avoids my gaze. Fuck, I didn’t want to make her cry even more. I step back, giving her space. She isn’t this type of person. I can’t allow myself to go any further with her, knowing it will only break her heart that she betrayed someone else. “I’m sorry, B. I didn’t want to make you cry.”
She nods her head, wiping the tears from her eyes. “It’s not you. It’s me.”
“What does that mean?”
“Nothing. Can we go?” She looks out toward the night sky that has fallen. “Can you drive me home?”
I gently grab her hand as she jumps off the counter. “Of course. Let’s go.” I place my hand on her lower back, leading her out ofour house.
Blakely
The outside of the house turns pitch black when Kai switches off the lights. A shiver runs through my body from the cold air. The sweat from my body heat makes the cold feel colder. I didn’t come here expecting any of this to happen. I set out on my walk, got lost in my thoughts, and then ended up somewhere I’ve never walked before.
When Kai pulled up, the look in his eyes made me feel wanted. There has always been tension between us, but this time felt different. He looks at me like I’m the most beautiful person in the world. He’s always looked at me that way. Never once allowing me to think differently. He made me feel like the most beautiful person when I was pregnant and even after the baby weight stayed on.
The way he got so close to me isn’t something I’ve experienced in a while. It was different but brought back somuch of our younger years together. The way we would laugh until we cried. Even if it was doing something so simple, like washing dishes together. He was so fun to be around—until he wasn’t. Thewasn’tkeeps stopping me. Then there’s Liam. Someone who is so good to me. Now he’s making it hard to see a future with him if he’s going to be this way with Kai.
The entire conversation I had with Kai keeps replaying in my head, like a song on repeat.Isthis someone you really want to spend the rest of your life with? Someone who is willing to tear us apart?I always felt like I wanted to end up with Liam, ever since we first met. But now everything feels so different. That was one reason I fell for him so fast—because of how understanding he was with Kai. It seems as if he was understanding until he didn’t want to be. It makes me feel like I’m forced to choose between Liam and Kai. Between Liam and my family. As much as Liam doesn’t want to see it, Kai is my family. It may not be conventional, but what is nowadays? He’s always going to be my family.
“Can you drop me off here?” I ask, realizing we are getting close to my house.
“Why?”
I glance over at him. “Please, Kai.”
He slows the truck down on the side of the road down from my house. “What’s going on?” he asks, shifting his body toward me. “Are you afraid of him seeing us together? Is there more going on than you’re letting on?”
"Kai, don’t be ridiculous. He’s already having doubts about us, and I don’t want to cause any more tension than there already is.” I’m astonished by what he thinks. He knows I would never be scared of someone, and if I were, I would never allow my daughter or myself around that.
He reaches for my hand, and I let him take it into his. “Okay. I believe you.” He clears his throat. “I love you, Blakely. I didwhat I had to do for myself, for you, for our daughter, and for our family. But I deserve to be happy, too. I can’t keep chasing someone who doesn’t want me. So, this is up to you now. If you want this, if you want us, you need to tell me. I can’t keep holding onto something that is slipping away.”
His words hit me like a dagger stabbing into my heart. Is this the way he’s been feeling this whole time? I try to pull the words out, but the unspoken fears stop me. As much as I’m hurting, he’s hurting, and I caused it. I’m hurting everyone around me.